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ANOTHER OP'NIN' ANOTHER SHOW
PAUL & ENSEMBLE:
Another op'nin', another
show
In Philly, Boston or Baltimo',
A chance for stage folks to say hello,
Another op'nin' of another show.
Another
job that you hope, at last,
Will make your future forget your past,
Another pain where the ulcers grow,
Another op'nin'
of another show.
Four weeks, you rehearse and rehearse,
Three weeks and it couldn't be worse,
One week, will it ever
be right?
Then out o' the hat, it's that big first night!
The overture is about to start,
You cross your fingers
and hold your heart,
It's curtain time and away we go!
Another op'nin',
Just another op'nin' of another show.
Another
op'nin', another show
In Philly, Boston or Baltimo',
A chance for stage folks to say hello,
Another op'nin' of another
show.
Another job that you hope, at last,
Will make your future forget your past,
Another pain where the ulcers grow,
Another
op'nin' of another show.
Four weeks, you rehearse and rehearse,
Three weeks and it couldn't be worse,
One week, will
it ever be right?
Then out o' the hat, it's that big first night!
The overture is about to start,
You cross your
fingers and hold your heart,
It's curtain time and away we go!
Another op'nin',
Just another op'nin' of another
show.
WHY CAN'T YOU BEHAVE?
LOIS LANE:
Why can't you behave?
Oh, why can't
you behave?
After all the things you told me
And the promises that you gave,
Oh, why can't you behave?
Why can't
you be good?
And do just as you should?
Won't you turn that new leaf over
So your baby can be your slave?
Oh,
why can't you behave?
There's a farm I know near my old home town,
Where we two can go and try settlin' down.
There
I'll care for you forever,
Well, at least 'til you dig my grave.
Oh, why can't you behave?
BILL:
Gee, I need
you, kid!
LOIS LANE:
I always knew you did,
But why can't you behave?
WUNDERBAR
LILLI & FRED:
Wunderbar, wunderbar!
There's our fav'rite star above.
What a bright, shining
star,
Like our love, it's wunderbar!
FRED:
Gazing down on the Jungfrau
LILLI:
From our secret chalet
for two,
FRED:
Let us drink, Liebchen mein,
LILLI:
In the moonlight benign,
LILLI & FRED:
To
the joy of our dream come true.
LILLI & FRED:
Wunderbar, wunderbar!
FRED:
What a perfect night for
love.
LILLI:
Here am I, here you are,
FRED:
Why it's truly wunderbar!
LILLI & FRED:
Wunderbar,
wunderbar!
FRED:
We're alone and hand in glove,
LILLI:
Not a cloud near or far,
FRED:
Why, it's
more than wunderbar!
LILLI:
Say you care, dear,
FRED:
For you madly,
LILLI:
Say you long, dear,
FRED:
For
your kiss,
LILLI:
Do you swear, dear?
FRED:
Darling, gladly,
LILLI:
Life's divine, dear!
FRED:
And
you're mine, dear!
LILLI & FRED:
Wunderbar, wunderbar!
FRED:
There's our fav'rite star above.
LILLI
& FRED:
What a bright, shining star,
Like our love, it's wunderbar!
SO IN LOVE
LILLI:
Strange, dear, but true, dear,
When I'm close to you, dear,
The stars
fill the sky,
So in love with you am I.
Even without you
My arms fold about you.
You know, darling why,
So
in love with you am I.
In love with the night mysterious
The night when you first were there.
In love with my joy
delirious
When I knew that you might care.
So taunt me and hurt me,
Deceive me, desert me,
I'm yours 'til I die,
So
in love,
So in love,
So in love with you, my love, am I.
So taunt me and hurt me,
Deceive me, desert me,
I'm
yours 'til I die,
So in love,
So in love,
So in love with you, my love, am I.
WE OPEN IN VENICE
BIANCA, LUCENTIO, KATHERINE AND PETRUCHIO:
A troupe of strolling players are we,
Not stars like
L.B. Mayer's are we,
But just a simple band
Who roams about the land
Dispensing fol-de-rol frivolity.
Mere folk
who give distraction are we,
No Theater Guild attraction are we,
But just a crazy group
That never ceases to troop
Around
the map of little Italy.
We open in Venice,
We next play Verona,
Then on to Cremona.
Lotsa laughs in Cremona.
Our
next jump is Parma,
That dopey, mopey menace,
Then Mantua, then Padua,
Then we open again, where?
We open
in Venice,
We next play Verona,
Then on to Cremona.
Lotsa bars in Cremona.
Our next jump is Parma,
That beerless,
cheerless menace,
Then Mantua, then Padua,
Then we open again, where?
We open in Venice,
We next play Verona,
Then
on to Cremona.
Lotsa dough in Cremona.
Our next jump is Parma,
That stingy, dingy menace,
Then Mantua, then Padua,
Then
we open again, where?
We open in Venice,
We next play Verona,
Then on to Cremona.
Lotsa quail in Cremona.
Our
next jump is Parma,
That heartless, tartless menace,
Then Mantua, then Padua,
Then we open again, where?
In Venice.
TOM, DICK OR HARRY
GREMIO:
I've made a haul in all the leading rackets
From
which rip-roarin' rich I happen to be,
And if thou wouldst attain the upper brackets,
Marry me, marry me, marry me.
LUCENTIO:
My
purse has yet to know a silver lining,
Still lifeless in my wifeless family tree,
But if for love unending thou art
pining,
Marry me, marry me, marry me.
HORTENSIO:
I come to thee a thoroughbred patrician
Still spraying my
decaying family tree.
To give a social boost to thy position,
Marry me, marry me, marry me.
Marry me!
GREMIO
& LUCENTIO:
Marry me!
HORTENSIO:
Marry me!
GREMIO & HORTENSIO:
Marry me!
LUCENTIO:
Marry
me!
GREMIO:
Marry me!
SUITORS:
Marry me!
BIANCA:
I'm a maid who would marry
And will take
with no qualm
Any Tom, Dick or Harry,
Any Harry, Dick or Tom,
I'm a maid mad to marry
And will take double-quick
Any
Tom, Dick or Harry,
Any Tom, Harry or Dick.
GREMIO:
I'm the man thou shouldst marry.
BIANCA:
Howdy,
Pop!
GREMIO:
Howdy, Mom.
LUCENTIO:
I'm the man thou shouldst marry.
BIANCA:
Art thou Harry,
Dick or Tom?
HORTENSIO:
I'm the man thou shouldst marry.
BIANCA:
Howdy, pal!
HORTENSIO:
Howdy,
chick!
BIANCA:
Art thou Tom, Dick or Harry?
HORTENSIO:
Call me Tom, Harry or Dick.
BIANCA &
SUITORS:
I'm (She's) a maid who would marry
And would no longer tarry,
I'm (She's) a maid who would marry,
May
my hopes not miscarry!
I'm (She's) a maid mad marry
And will take double-quick
Any Tom, Dick or Harry,
Any Tom,
Harry or Dick.
Dick, dick, dick,
A dicka dick,
Dick, dick, dick,
A dicka dick,
Dick, dick, dick,
A dicka
dick,
Dick, dick, dick,
A dicka dick!
I HATE MEN
KATHARINE:
I hate men.
I can't abide 'em even now and then.
Than
ever marry one of them, I'd rest a virgin rather,
For husbands are a boring lot and only give you bother.
Of course,
I'm awfully glad that Mother had to marry Father,
But I hate men.
Of all the types I've ever met within our democracy,
I
hate most the athlete with his manner bold and brassy,
He may have hair upon his chest but, sister, so has Lassie.
Oh,
I hate men!
I hate men.
Their worth upon this earth I dinna ken.
Avoid the trav'ling salesman though a tempting
Tom
he may be,
From China he will bring you jade and perfume from Araby,
But don't forget 'tis he who'll have the fun and
thee the baby,
Oh I hate men.
If thou shouldst wed a businessman, be wary, oh, be wary.
He'll tell you he's detained
in town on business necessary,
His bus'ness is the bus'ness which he gives his secretary,
Oh I hate men!
IT'S TOO DARN HOT
PAUL:
It's too darn hot,
It's too darn hot.
I'd
like to sup with my baby tonight,
And play the pup with my baby tonight.
I'd like to sup with my baby tonight,
And
play the pup with my baby tonight,
But I ain't up to my baby tonight,
'Cause it's too darn hot.
PAUL AND BOYS:
It's
too darn hot,
It's too darn hot.
PAUL:
I'd like to stop for my baby tonight,
And blow my top with my baby
tonight.
I'd like to stop for my baby tonight,
And blow my top with my baby tonight,
But I'd be a flop with baby
tonight,
'Cause it's too darn hot.
PAUL AND BOYS:
It's too darn hot,
It's too darn hot.
PAUL:
I'd
like to fool with my baby tonight,
Break ev'ry rule with my baby tonight.
PAUL AND BOYS:
I'd like to fool with
my baby tonight,
Break ev'ry rule with my baby tonight,
PAUL:
But, pillow, you'll be my baby tonight,
'Cause
it's too darn hot.
PAUL AND BOYS:
According to the Kinsey Report
Ev'ry average man you know
Much prefers to
play his favorite sport
When the temperature is low,
But when the thermometer goes 'way up
And the weather is sizzling
hot,
PAUL:
Mister Adam
For his madam.
Is not,
PAUL AND BOYS:
'Cause it's too, too
Too darn hot,
It's
too darn hot,
It's too darn hot.
PAUL:
It's too darn hot,
It's too darn hot.
I'd like to call on my baby
tonight,
And give my all to my baby tonight.
PAUL AND BOYS:
I'd like to call on my baby tonight,
And give
my all to my baby tonight.
PAUL:
But I can't play ball with baby tonight,
'Cause it's too darn hot.
PAUL
AND BOYS:
It's too darn hot,
It's too darn hot.
PAUL:
I'd like to meet with my baby tonight,
Get off my
feet, mm, with my baby tonight.
PAUL AND BOYS:
I'd like to meet with my baby tonight,
Get off my feet with my
baby tonight.
PAUL:
But no repeat with baby tonight,
'Cause it's too darn hot.
PAUL AND BOYS:
It's
too darn hot,
It's too darn hot.
PAUL:
I'd like to coo to my baby tonight,
And pitch the woo with my baby
tonight.
PAUL AND BOYS:
I'd like to coo to my baby tonight,
And pitch the woo with my baby tonight.
PAUL:
But,
pillow, you'll be my baby tonight,
'Cause it's too darn hot.
PAUL AND BOYS:
According to the Kinsey Report
Ev'ry
average man you know
Much prefer to play his favorite sport
When the temperature is low,
But when the thermometer
goes 'way up
And the weather is sizzling hot,
PAUL:
Mister Gob
For his squab.
A marine,
For his queen.
A
G.I.
For his cutie-pie
Is not,
PAUL AND BOYS:
'Cause it's too, too
Too darn hot,
It's too darn hot,
It's
too, too, too, too darn hot.
WHERE IS THE LIFE THAT LATE I LED?
PETRUCHIO:
Since I reached the charming
age of puberty
And began to finger feminine curls,
Like a show that's typically Shuberty
I have always a multitude
of girls,
But now that a married man, at last, am I,
How aware of my dear, departed past am I.
Where is the life
that late I led?
Where is it now? Totally dead.
Where is the fun I used to find?
Where has it gone? Gone with the
wind.
A married life may all be well,
But raising an heir
Could never compare
With raising a bit of hell,
So
I repeat what first I said,
Where is the life that late I led?
In dear Milano, where are you, Momo,
Still selling
those pictures of the Scriptures in the Duomo?
And, Carolina, where are you, Lina,
Still peddling your pizza in the
streets o' Taormina?
And in Firenze, where are you, Alice,
Still there in your pretty, itty-bitty Pitti Palace?
And
sweet Lucretia, so young and gay-ee?
What scandalous doin's in the ruins of Pompeii!
Where is the life that late
I led?
Where is it now? Totally dead.
Where is the fun I used to find?
Where has it gone? Gone with the wind.
The
marriage game is quite all right,
Yes, during the day
It's easy to play
But, oh, what a bore at night,
So I repeat
what first I said
Where is the life that late I?
Where is Rebecca, my Becki-weckio,
Again is she cruising that
amusing Ponte Vecchio?
Where is Fedora, the wild virago?
It's lucky I missed her gangster sister from Chicago.
Where
is Venetia, who loved to chat so,
Could still she be drinkin' in her stinkin' pink palazzo?
And lovely Lisa, where are
you, Lisa?
You gave a new meaning to the leaning tow'r of Pisa.
Where is the life that late I led?
Where is it
now? Totally dead.
Where is the fun I used to find?
Where has it gone? Gone with the wind.
I've oft been told of
nuptial bliss,
But what do you do,
A quarter to two,
With only a shrew to kiss?
So I repeat what first I said,
Where
is the life that late I led?
ALWAYS TRUE TO YOU IN MY FASHION
LOIS:
Oh, Bill,
Why can't you behave?
Why
can't you behave?
How in hell can you be jealous
When you know, baby, I'm your slave?
I'm just mad for you,
And
I'll always be,
But naturally
If a custom-tailored vet
Asks me out for something wet,
When the vet begins
to pet, I cry "Hooray!"
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in
my way.
I enjoy a tender pass
By the boss of Boston, Mass.,
Though his pass is middle-class and notta Backa Bay.
But
I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
There's a madman known
as Mack
Who is planing to attack,
If his mad attack means a Cadillac, okay!
But I'm always true to you, darlin',
in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
I've been asked to have a meal
By a big tycoon
in steel,
If the meal includes a deal, accept I may.
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm
always true to you, darlin', in my way.
I could never curl my lip
To a dazzlin' diamond clip,
Though the clip meant
"let 'er rip," I'd not say "Nay!"
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin',
in my way.
There's an oil man known as Tex
Who is keen to give me checks,
And his checks, I fear, mean that sex is
here to stay!
But I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
From
Ohio Mister Thorne
Calls me up from night 'til morn,
Mister Thorne once cornered corn and that ain't hay.
Aha!
But
I'm always true to you, darlin', in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
From Milwaukee Mister
Fritz
Often moves me to the Ritz,
Mister Fritz is full of Schlitz and full of play.
But I'm always true to you, darlin',
in my fashion,
Yes, I'm always true to you, darlin', in my way.
Mister Harris, plutocrat,
Wants to give my cheek
a pat,
If the Harris pat
Means a Paris hat,
They say, Oo-la-la!
Mais je suis toujour fidle, darlin', in my fashion,
Oui,
je suis toujour fidle, darlin', in my way.
BIANCA
BILL:
While rehearsing with Bianca
(She's the darling I adore),
Offstage
I found
She's been around
But I still love her more and more;
So I've written her a love song
Though I'm just
an amateur.
I'll sing it through
For all of you
To see if it's worthy of her.
Are yuh list'nin'?
Bianca,
Bianca,
Oh, baby, will you be mine?
Bianca, Bianca,
You'd better answer yes or Poppa spanka.
To win you, Bianca,
There's
nothing I would not do.
I would gladly give up coffee for Sanka,
Even Sanka, Bianca, for you.
BRUSH UP YOUR SHAKESPEARE
MOBSTERS:
The girls today in society
Go
for classical poetry,
So to win their hearts one must quote with ease
Aeschylus and Euripides.
But the poet of them
all
Who will start 'em simply ravin'
Is the poet people call
The bard of Stratford-on-Avon.
Brush up your
Shakespeare,
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare
And the women you will wow.
Just declaim a few
lines from "Othella"
And they think you're a helluva fella.
If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er
Tell
her what Tony told Cleopaterer ,
If she fights when her clothes you are mussing,
What are clothes? "Much Ado About Nussing."
Brush
up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow.
With the wife of the British embessida
Try a crack out of "Troilus
and Cressida,"
If she says she won't buy it or tike it
Make her tike it, what's more, "As You Like It."
If she says
your behavior is heinous
Kick her right in the "Coriolanus."
Brush up your Shakespeare
And they'll all kowtow,
And
they'll all kowtow,
And they'll all kowtow.
I'M ASHAMED THAT WOMEN ARE SO SIMPLE
KATAHARINE:
I am ashamed the women
a so simple
To offer war where they should kneel for peace,
Or seek for rule, supremacy, and sway
When they are bound
to serve, love and obey.
Why are our bodies soft and weak and smooth,
Unapt to toil and trouble in the world,
But
that our soft conditions and our hearts
Should well agree with our external parts?
So, wife, hold your temper and meekly
put
Your hand 'neath the sole of your husband's foot,
In token of which duty, if he please,
My hand is ready,
Ready,
May
it do him ease.
FINALE (SO KISS ME, KATE)
PETRUCHIO:
So kiss me, Kate,
KATE:
Caro!
PETRUCHIO:
and twice and thrice,
KATE:
Carissimo!
PETRUCHIO:
Ere we start
KATE:
Bello!
PETRUCHIO:
Living
in paradise.
KATE:
Bellissimo!
PETRUCHIO & OTHERS:
Oh, kiss me (him), Kate,
KATE:
Presto!
PETRUCHIO
& OTHERS:
Darling angel, divine!
KATE:
Prestissimo!
PETRUCHIO:
For now thou shall ever be
KATE:
Now
thou shall ever be
PETRUCHIO & MEN:
Now thou shall ever be
KATE & GIRLS:
Now thou shall ever be
PETRUCHIO:
Mine,
KATE:
Mine,
PETRUCHIO
&KATE:
Darling mine,
KATE:
And I am thine, and I am thine
PETRUCHIO & OTHERS:
And I am (she
is) thine, and I am (she is) thine
ALL:
All thine!
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