RENT- Libretto

Act I

(The audience enters in the theatre to discover a stage bare of curtains. At stage left looms a metal sculpture intended to represent: (a) a totem pole/Christmas tree that stands in an abandoned lot, (b) a wood burning stove with a snaky chimney that is at the center of MARK and ROGER's loft apartment, and (c) in Act II, a church steeple. On stage the five-musician band performs under a wooden platform surrounded by railing. The wooden platform has a staircase on the upstage side. Downstage left is a black, waist-high rail fence. Once the audience is in the theatre, CREW and BAND MEMBERS move about informally onstage in preparation for Act I.

ROGER DAVIS, carrying an electric guitar, enters upstage left and crosses to a guitar amp sitting on a chair at center stage. He casually plugs his guitar into the amp and adjusts levels, then crosses downstage and sits on the table.

After a few chords, the COMPANY, led by MARK COHEN, enters from all directions and fills the stage. MARK sets up a small tripod and a 16mm movie camera downstage center, aimed upstage. He addresses the audience.)

MARK
We begin on Christmas Eve with me, Mark, and my roommate, Roger. We live in an industrial loft on the corner of 11th street and Avenue B, the top floor of what was once a music publishing factory. Old rock 'n' roll posters hang on the walls. They have Roger's picture advertising gigs at CBGB's and the Pyramid Club. We have an illegal wood burning stove; its exhaust pipe crawls up to a skylight. All of our electrical appliances are plugged into one thick extension cord which snakes its way out a window. Outside, a small tent city has sprung up in the lot next to our building. Inside, we are freezing because we have no heat.

(MARK turns the camera to ROGER)

Smile!

TUNE UP #1

MARK
December 24th, Nine PM
Eastern Standard Time
From here on in
I shoot without a script
See if anything comes of it
Instead of my old shit
First shot -- Roger
Tuning the Fender guitar
He hasn't played in a year

ROGER
This won't tune

MARK
So we hear
He's just coming back
From half a year of withdrawal

ROGER
Are you talking to me?

MARK
Not at all
Are you ready? Hold that focus -- steady
Tell the folks at home what you're doing Roger ...

ROGER
I'm writing one great song --

MARK
The phone rings.

ROGER
Saved!

MARK (to audience)
We screen
Zoom in on the answering machine!

(An actor places a telephone on a chair and we see MARK'S MOM in a special light.)

VOICE MAIL #1

ROGER & MARK'S OUTGOING MESSAGE
"Speak" ... ("Beeeep!")

MOM
That was a very loud beep
I don't even know if this is working
Mark -- Mark -- are you there
Are you screening your calls --
It's mom
We wanted to call and say we love you
And we'll miss you tomorrow
Cindy and the kids are here -- send their love
Oh, I hope you like the hot plate
Just don't leave it on, dear
When you leave the house
Oh, and Mark
We're sorry to hear that Maureen dumped you
I say c'est la vie
So let her be a lesbian...
There are other fishies in the sea
... Love Mom

(Lights fade on MOM and answering machine.)

TUNE UP #2

MARK
Tell the folks at home what you're doing Roger

ROGER
I'm writing one great song --

MARK (to audience)
The phone rings.

ROGER
Yesss!

MARK (to audience)
We screen.

ROGER & MARK'S ANSWERING MACHINE
"Speak" ... ("Beeeep!")

(Lights fade up on the street: the front-door area of MARK and ROGER's building. Nearby is a battered public pay phone. TOM COLLINS stands at the phone.)

COLLINS
"Chestnuts roasting..."

ROGER & MARK
(as MARK picks up the phone)
Collins!

COLLINS
I'm downstairs

MARK
Hey!

COLLINS
Roger picked up the phone?

MARK
No, it's me.

COLLINS
Throw down the key.

(MARK pulls out a small leather pouch and drops it off the apron downstage center as if from a window; a weighted leather pouch plops down from "upstairs." COLLINS catches it.)

MARK
A wild night is now pre-ordained

(Two THUGS appear from above, with clubs. They are obviously close to attacking COLLINS, who says back into the phone...)

COLLINS
I may be detained.

(THUGS mime beating and kicking COLLINS, who falls to the ground as lights on him fade.)

MARK
What does he mean...?
(Phone rings again)
What do you mean "detained"?

(Lights come up on BENNY, who's on a cellular phone.)

BENNY
Ho ho ho.

MARK & ROGER
Benny! (Shit!)

BENNY
Dudes, I'm on my way

MARK & ROGER
Great! (Fuck!)

BENNY
I need the rent

MARK
What rent?

BENNY
This past year's rent which I let slide

MARK
Let slide? You said we were "golden"

ROGER
When you bought the building

MARK
When we were roommates

ROGER
Remember -- you lived here!?

BENNY
How could I forget?
You, me, Collins and Maureen
How is the drama queen?

MARK
She's performing tonight

BENNY
I know.
Still her production manager?

MARK
Two days ago I was bumped

BENNY
You still dating her?

MARK
Last month I was dumped

ROGER
She's in love

BENNY
She's got a new man?

MARK
Well -- no

BENNY
What's his name?

MARK & ROGER
Joanne

BENNY
Rent, my amigos, is due
Or I will have to evict you
Be there in a few

(ROGER defiantly picks out Musetta's theme from Puccini's La Boheme on the electric guitar. The fuse blows on the amp.)

MARK (to audience)
The power blows...

RENT

(The COMPANY bursts into a flurry of movement. Then everyone except MARK and ROGER freezes in a group upstage.)

MARK
How do you document real life
When real life is getting more
Like fiction each day
Headlines -- bread-lines
Blow my mind
And now this deadline
"Eviction -- or pay"
Rent!

ROGER
How do you write a song
When the chords sound wrong
Though they once sounded right and rare
When the notes are sour
Where is the power
You once had to ignite the air

MARK
And we're hungry and frozen

ROGER
Some life that we've chosen

MARK & ROGER
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
Last year's rent

MARK
We light candles

ROGER
How do you start a fire
When there's nothing to burn
And it feels like something's stuck in your flue

MARK
How can you generate heat
When you can't feel your feet

MARK & ROGER
And they're turning blue!

MARK
You light up a mean blaze

(ROGER grabs one of his own posters.)

ROGER
With posters --

(MARK grabs old manuscripts.)

MARK
And screenplays

ROGER & MARK
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
Last year's rent

(Lights go down on the loft and go up on JOANNE JEFFERSON, who's at the pay phone.)

JOANNE
Don't screen, Maureen
It's me -- Joanne
Your substitute production manager
Hey hey hey! (Did you eat?)
Don't change the subject Maureen
But darling -- you haven't eaten all day
You won't throw up
You won't throw up
The digital delay --
Didn't blow up (exactly)
There may have been one teeny tiny spark
You're not calling Mark

COLLINS
How do you stay on your feet
When on every street
It's 'trick or treat'
(And tonight it's 'trick')
'Welcome back to town'
Oh, I should lie down
Everything's brown
And uh -- oh
I feel sick

MARK (At the window)
Where is he?

COLLINS
Getting dizzy
(He collapses.)

MARK & ROGER
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
How we gonna pay
Last year's rent

(MARK and ROGER stoke the fire. Crosscut to BENNY's Range Rover.)

BENNY (On cellular phone)
Alison baby -- you sound sad
I don't believe those two after everything I've done
Ever since our wedding I'm dirt -- They'll see
I can help them all out in the long run

(Three locales: JOANNE at the pay phone, MARK and ROGER in their loft, and COLLINS on the ground. The following is sung simultaneously.)

BENNY
Forces are gathering
Forces are gathering
Can't turn away
Forces are gathering

COLLINS
Ughhhhh--
Ughhhhh--
Ughhhhh-- I can't think
Ughhhhh--
Ughhhhh--
Ughhhhh-- I need a drink

MARK (reading from a script page)
"The music ignites the night with passionate fire"

JOANNE
Maureen -- I'm not a theatre person

ROGER
"The narration crackles and pops with incendiary wit"

JOANNE
Could never be a theatre person

MARK
Zoom in as they burn the past to the ground

JOANNE (realizing she's been cut off)
Hello?

MARK & ROGER
And feel the heat of the future's glow

JOANNE
Hello?

(The phone rings in the loft. MARK picks it up.)

MARK (On phone)
Hello? Maureen?
Your equipment won't work?
Okay, all right, I'll go!

MARK & HALF THE COMPANY
How do you leave the past behind
When it keeps finding ways to get to your heart
It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out
Till you're torn apart
Rent!

ROGER & OTHER HALF OF COMPANY
How can you connect in an age
Where strangers, landlords, lovers
Your own blood cells betray

COMPANY
What binds the fabric together
When the raging, shifting winds of change
Keep ripping away

BENNY
Draw a line in the sand
And then make a stand

ROGER
Use your camera to spar

MARK
Use your guitar

COMPANY
When they act tough - you call their bluff

MARK & ROGER
We're not gonna pay

MARK & ROGER & HALF THE COMPANY
We're not gonna pay

MARK & ROGER & OTHER HALF OF COMPANY
We're not gonna pay

COMPANY
Last year's rent
This year's rent
Next year's rent
Rent rent rent rent rent
We're not gonna pay rent

ROGER & MARK
'Cause everything is rent

YOU OKAY HONEY?

(The street in front of the pay phone. A HOMELESS MAN appears above on the right. Across the stage, ANGEL DUMOTT SCHUNARD is seated on the Christmas tree sculpture, with a plastic pickle tub balanced like a drum between his knees.)

A HOMELESS MAN
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Somewhere else!
Not here

(The HOMELESS MAN exits. ANGEL gets a good beat going on the tub, but is interrupted by a moan. He starts to drum again and sees COLLINS limp to downstage-left proscenium.)

ANGEL
You okay honey?

COLLINS
I'm afraid so

ANGEL
They get any money?

COLLINS
No, had none to get
But they purloined my coat
Well you missed a sleeve! -- thanks

ANGEL
Hell, it's Christmas Eve
I'm Angel

COLLINS
Angel? Indeed
An angel of the first degree
Friends call me Collins -- Tom Collins
Nice tree ...

ANGEL
Let's get a band-aid for your knee
I'll change, there's a "Life Support" meeting at nine-thirty
Yes -- this body provides a comfortable home
For the Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome

COLLINS
As does mine

ANGEL
We'll get along fine
Get you a coat, have a bite
Make a night -- I'm flush

COLLINS
My friends are waiting --

ANGEL
You're cute when you blush
The more the merry -- ho ho ho
And I do not take no

(ANGEL and COLLINS walk off stage right.)

TUNE UP #3

(Lights come up on loft.)

ROGER
Where are you going?

MARK
Maureen calls...

ROGER
You're such a sucker!

MARK
I don't suppose you'd like to see her show in the lot tonight?
(ROGER shrugs.)
Or come to dinner?

ROGER
Zoom in on my empty wallet.

MARK
Touche. Take your AZT.
(To audience) Close on Roger
His girlfriend April
Left a note saying "We've got AIDS"
Before slitting her wrists in the bathroom
I'll check up on you later. Change your mind. You have to get out of the house.
(He exits.)

ONE SONG GLORY

ROGER
I'm writing one great song before I...
One song
Glory
One song
Before I go
Glory
One song to leave behind
Find one song
One last refrain
Glory
From the pretty boy front man
Who wasted opportunity
One song
He had the world at his feet
Glory
In the eyes of a young girl
A young girl
Find glory
Beyond the cheap colored lights
One song
Before the sun sets
Glory -- on another empty life
Time flies -- time dies
Glory -- One blaze of glory
One blaze of glory -- glory
Find
Glory
In a song that rings true
Truth like a blazing fire
An eternal flame
Find
One song
A song about love
Glory
From the soul of a young man
A young man
Find
The one song
Before the virus takes hold
Glory
Like a sunset
One song
To redeem this empty life
Time flies
And then - no need to endure anymore
Time dies
(ROGER is interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. It is MIMI MARQUEZ, a beautiful stranger from downstairs.)

ROGER
The door.

(ROGER crosses to the door.)

LIGHT MY CANDLE

ROGER
What'd you forget?

(MIMI enters, holding a candle and looking for a match; her electricity is down, too.)

MIMI
Got a light?

ROGER
I know you? -- You're --
You're shivering

MIMI
It's nothing
They turned off my heat
And I'm just a little
Weak on my feet
Would you light my candle?
What are you staring at?

ROGER
Nothing
Your hair in the moonlight
You look familiar
(He lights her candle. MIMI starts to leave, but stumbles.)
Can you make it?

MIMI
Just haven't eaten much today
At least the room stopped spinning.
Anyway. What?

ROGER
Nothing
Your smile reminded me of --

MIMI
I always remind people of -- who is she?

ROGER
She died. Her name was April

(MIMI discreetly blows out the candle.)

MIMI
It's out again
Sorry about your friend
Would you light my candle?

(ROGER lights the candle. They linger, awkwardly.)

ROGER
Well --

MIMI
Yeah. Ow!

ROGER
Oh, the wax -- it's --

MIMI
Dripping! I like it -- between my --

ROGER
Fingers. I figured...
Oh, well. Goodnight.

(MIMI exits. ROGER heads back toward his guitar on the table. There is another knock, which he answers.)

ROGER
It blew out again?

MIMI
No -- I think that I dropped my stash

ROGER
I know I've seen you out and about
When I used to go out
Your candle's out

MIMI
I'm illin' --
I had it when I walked in the door
It was pure --
Is it on the floor?

ROGER
The floor?

(MIMI gets down on all fours and starts searching the floor for her stash. She looks back at ROGER, who is staring at her again.)

MIMI
They say I have the best ass below 14th street
Is it true?

ROGER
What?

MIMI
You're staring again.

ROGER
Oh no.
I mean you do -- have a nice --
I mean -- You look familiar

MIMI
Like your dead girlfriend?

ROGER
Only when you smile
But I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else --

MIMI
Do you go to the Cat Scratch Club?
That's where I work - I dance - help me look

ROGER
Yes!
They used to tie you up --

MIMI
It's a living

(MIMI douses the flame again.)

ROGER
I didn't recognize you
Without the handcuffs

MIMI
We could light the candle
Oh won't you light the candle?

(ROGER lights it again.)

ROGER
Why don't you forget that stuff
You look like you're sixteen

MIMI
I'm nineteen -- but I'm old for my age
I'm just born to be bad

ROGER
I once was born to be bad
I used to shiver like that

MIMI
I have no heat -- I told you

ROGER
I used to sweat

MIMI
I got a cold

ROGER
Uh huh
I used to be a junkie

MIMI
But now and then I like to --

ROGER
Uh huh

MIMI
Feel good

ROGER
Here it -- um --

(ROGER stoops and picks up a small object: MIMI's stash.)

MIMI
What's that?

ROGER
It's a candy bar wrapper

(ROGER puts it behind his back and into his pocket.)

MIMI
We could light the candle

(ROGER discreetly blows out the candle.)

MIMI
What'd you do with my candle?

ROGER
That was my last match

MIMI
Our eyes'll adjust, thank God for the moon

ROGER
Maybe it's not the moon at all
I hear Spike Lee's shooting down the street

MIMI
Bah humbug ... Bah humbug

(MIMI places her hand under his, pretending to do it by accident.)

ROGER
Cold hands

MIMI
Yours too.
Big. Like my father's
You wanna dance?

ROGER
With you?

MIMI
No -- with my father

ROGER
I'm Roger

MIMI
They call me
They call me Mimi

(They come extremely close to a kiss. MIMI reaches into his pocket, nabs the stash, waves it in front of his face, and makes a sexy exit.)

VOICE MAIL #2

(JOANNE's loft. In blackout another phone rings. We see MAUREEN in silhouette.)

MAUREEN
Hi. You've reached Maureen and Joanne. Leave a message and don't forget Over the Moon -- My performance, protesting the eviction of the Homeless (and artists) from the Eleventh Street Lot. Tonight at midnight in the lot between A and B. Party at Life Cafe to follow. (Beeep!)

MR. JEFFERSON
Well, Joanne -- We're off
I tried you at the office
And they said you're stage managing or something

MRS. JEFFERSON
Remind her that those unwed mothers in Harlem
Need her legal help too

MR. JEFFERSON
Call Daisy for our itinerary or Alfred at Pound Ridge
Or Eileen at the state department in a pinch
We'll be at the spa for new year's
Unless the senator changes his mind

MRS. JEFFERSON
The hearings

MR. JEFFERSON
Oh yes -- Kitten
Mummy's confirmation hearing begins on the tenth
We'll need you -- alone -- by the sixth

MRS. JEFFERSON
Harold!

MR. JEFFERSON
You hear that?
It's three weeks away
And she's already nervous

MRS. JEFFERSON
I am not!

MR. JEFFERSON
For Mummy's sake, Kitten
No Doc Martens this time and wear a dress ...
Oh, and Kitten -- have a merry

MRS. JEFFERSON
And a bra!

TODAY 4 U

(MARK and ROGER's loft.)

MARK
Enter Tom Collins, computer genius, teacher, vagabond anarchist, who ran naked through the Parthenon.

(COLLINS carries ANGEL's pickle tub, now filled with provisions.)

MARK & COLLINS
Bustelo -- Marlboro
Banana by the bunch
A box of Captain Crunch will taste so good

COLLINS
And firewood

MARK
Look -- it's Santa Claus

COLLINS
Hold your applause

ROGER
Oh hi

COLLINS
"Oh hi" after seven months?

ROGER
Sorry

COLLINS
This boy could use some Stoli

COLLINS, MARK & ROGER
Oh holy night

ROGER
You struck gold at MIT?

COLLINS
They expelled me for my theory of Actual Reality
Which I'll soon impart
To the couch potatoes at New York University
Still haven't left the house?

ROGER
I was waiting for you, don't you know?

COLLINS
Well, tonight's the night
Come to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show

ROGER
No flow

COLLINS
Gentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas Eve
Whose charity is only matched by talent, I believe
A new member of the Alphabet City avant-garde
Angel Dumott Schunard!

(ANGEL sashays in. He's gorgeously done up in Santa drag, with a fan of twenty-dollar bills in each hand.)

ANGEL
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me

COLLINS
And you should hear her beat!

MARK
You earned this on the street?

ANGEL
It was my lucky day today on Avenue A
When a lady in a limousine drove my way
She said, "Dahling -- be a dear -- haven't slept in a year
I need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear"
"This Akita-Evita just won't shut up
I believe if you play non-stop that pup
Will breathe its very last high-strung breath
I'm certain that cur will bark itself to death"
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
We agreed on a fee -- A thousand dollar guarantee
Tax-free -- and a bonus if I trim her tree
Now who could foretell that it would go so well
But sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hell
After an hour -- Evita -- in all her glory
On the window ledge of that 23rd story
Like Thelma & Louise did when they got the blues
Swan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie Mews
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me

(ANGEL does a fabulous drum and dance solo.)

Then back to the street where I met my sweet
Where he was moaning and groaning on the cold concrete
The nurse took him home for some mercurochrome
And I dressed his wounds and got him back on his feet
Sing it!
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me
Today for you -- tomorrow for me

YOU'LL SEE

(BENNY enters.)

BENNY
Joy to the world--
Hey, you bum -- yeah, you, move over
Get your ass off that range rover

MARK
That attitude toward the homeless is exactly what
Maureen is protesting tonight.
(to audience, holding camera up to BENNY)
Close up: Benjamin Coffin the third, our ex-roommate who married Alison Grey, of the Westport Greys -- then bought the building and the lot next door from his father-in-law in hopes of starting a cyber-studio.

BENNY
Maureen is protesting
Losing her performance space
Not my attitude

ROGER
What happened to Benny
What happened to his heart
And the ideals he once pursued?

BENNY
The owner of that lot next door
Has a right to do with it as he pleases

COLLINS
Happy birthday, Jesus!

BENNY
The rent

MARK
You're wasting your time

ROGER
We're broke

MARK
And you broke your word -- this is absurd

BENNY
There is one way you won't have to pay

ROGER
I knew it!

BENNY
Next door, the home of Cyberarts, you see
And now that the block is re-zoned
Our dream can become a reality
You'll see boys
You'll see boys
A state of the art, digital, virtual interactive studio
I'll forego your rent and on paper guarantee
That you can stay here for free
If you do me one small favor

MARK
What?

BENNY
Convince Maureen to cancel her protest

MARK
Why not just get an injunction or call the cops

BENNY
I did, and they're on stand by
But my investors would rather
I handle this quietly

ROGER
You can't quietly wipe out an entire tent city
Then watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' on TV!

BENNY
You want to produce films and write songs?
You need somewhere to do it!
It's what we used to dream about
Think twice before you pooh-pooh it
You'll see boys
You'll see boys
You'll see -- the beauty of a studio
That lets us do our work and get paid
With condos on the top
Whose rent keeps open our shop
Just stop the protest
And you'll have it made
You'll see -- or you'll pack

(BENNY exits.)

ANGEL
That boy could use some prozac

ROGER
Or heavy drugs

MARK
Or group hugs

COLLINS
Which reminds me --
We have a detour to make tonight
Anyone who wants to can come along

ANGEL
Life support's a group for people coping with life
You don't have to stay too long

MARK
First I've got a protest to save

ANGEL
Roger?

ROGER
I'm not much company you'll find

MARK
Behave!

ANGEL
He'll catch up later -- He's just go other things on his mind
You'll see boys

MARK & COLLINS
We'll see boys

ROGER
Let it be boys!

COLLINS
I like boys

ANGEL
Boys like me

ALL
We'll see.

TANGO: MAUREEN

(The lot. JOANNE is reexamining the cable connections for the umpteenth time.)

MARK
And so into the abyss
The lot. Where a small stage is partially set up.

JOANNE
(playing with some wires)
"Line in"...
I went to Harvard for this?

MARK
Close on Mark's nosedive.

JOANNE
"Line out"...

MARK
Will he get out of here alive...?

(JOANNE notices MARK approaching.)

JOANNE
Mark?

MARK
Hi.

JOANNE
I told her not to call you

MARK
That's Maureen
But can I help since I'm here

JOANNE
I hired an engineer ...

MARK
Great!
Well, nice to have met you

JOANNE
Wait!
She's three hours late
The samples won't delay
But the cable --

MARK
There's another way
Say something -- anything

JOANNE (into the mike)
Test -- one, two three...

MARK
Anything but that

JOANNE
This is weird

MARK
It's weird

JOANNE
Very weird

MARK
Fuckin' weird

JOANNE
I'm so mad
That I don't know what to do
Fighting with microphones
Freezing down to my bones
And to top it all off
I'm with you

MARK
Feel like going insane?
Got a fire in your brain?
And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?

JOANNE
As a matter of fact --

MARK
Honey, I know this act
It's called the 'Tango Maureen'
The Tango Maureen
It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round
As she keeps you dangling

JOANNE
You're wrong

MARK
Your heart she is mangling

JOANNE
It's different with me

MARK
And you toss and you turn
'Cause her cold eyes can burn
Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound

JOANNE
I think I know what you mean

BOTH
The Tango Maureen

MARK
Has she ever pouted her lips
And called you 'Pookie'

JOANNE
Never

MARK
Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?

JOANNE
This is spooky
Did you swoon when she walked through the door?

MARK
Every time -- so be cautious

JOANNE
Did she moon over other boys --?

MARK
More than moon --

JOANNE
I'm getting nauseous
(They begin to dance, with MARK leading.)

MARK
Where'd you learn to tango?

JOANNE
With the French Ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at Miss Porter's. And you?

MARK
With Nanette Himmelfarb, the rabbi's daughter, at the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center.

(They switch, and JOANNE leads.)

MARK
It's hard to do this backwards.

JOANNE
You should try it in heels!
She cheated

MARK
She cheated

JOANNE
Maureen cheated

MARK
Fuckin' cheated

JOANNE
I'm defeated
I should give up right now

MARK
Gotta look on the bright side
With all of your might

JOANNE
I'd fall for her still anyhow

BOTH
When you're dancing her dance
You don't stand a chance
Her grip of romance
Make you fall

MARK
So you think, "Might as well"

JOANNE
"Dance a tango to hell"

BOTH
"At least I'll have tangoed at all"
The Tango Maureen
Gotta dance till your diva is through
You pretend to believe her
Cause in the end -- you can't leave her
But the end it will come
Still you have to play dumb
Till you're glum and you bum
And turn blue

MARK
Why do we love when she's mean?

JOANNE
And she can be so obscene

MARK
Try the mike

JOANNE
My Maureen (reverb: een, een, een...)

MARK
Patched

JOANNE
Thanks

MARK
You know -- I feel great now!

JOANNE
I feel lousy
(The pay phone rings. MARK hands it to JOANNE.)
Honey, we're... Pookie?
You never call me Pookie.
Forget it, we're patched.

(She hangs up, looks at MARK.)

BOTH
The Tango Maureen!

LIFE SUPPORT

(ANGEL and COLLINS attend an AIDS Life Support group. PAUL, the support leader, sits on the downstage railing above. GORDON, one of the members of the group, is standing downstage left, facing the audience. As the members enter, they introduce themselves and form a semicircle. Note: The names of the support group members should change every night and should honor actual friends of the company who have died of AIDS.)

STEVE
Steve.

GORDON
Gordon.

ALI
Ali.

PAM
Pam.

SUE
Sue.

ANGEL
Hi, I'm Angel.

COLLINS
Tom. Collins.

PAUL
I'm Paul. Let's begin.

ALL
There's only us
There's only this ...

(MARK blusters in noisily.)

MARK
Sorry...excuse me...oops

PAUL
And you are?

MARK
Oh -- I'm not --
I'm just here to --
I don't have --
I'm here with --
Um -- Mark
Mark -- I'm Mark
Well -- this is quite an operation

PAUL
Sit down Mark
We'll continue the affirmation

ALL
Forget regret, or life is yours to miss

GORDON
Excuse me Paul -- I'm having a problem with this
This credo -- My T-cells are low --
I regret that news, okay?

PAUL
All right
But Gordon - How do you feel today?

GORDON
What do you mean?

PAUL
How do you feel today?

GORDON
Okay

PAUL
Is that all?

GORDON
Best I've felt all year

PAUL
Then why choose fear?

GORDON
I'm a New Yorker!
Fear's my life!
Look - I find some of what you teach suspect
Because I'm used to relying on intellect
But I try to open up to what I don't know

GORDON & ROGER (who sings from his loft)
Because reason says I should have died
Three years ago

ALL
No other road
No other way
No day but today

OUT TONIGHT

MIMI
What's the time?
Well it's gotta be close to midnight
My body's talking to me
It says, "Time for danger"
It says "I wanna commit a crime
Wanna be the cause of a fight
Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt
With a stranger"
I've had a knack from way back
At breaking the rules once I learn the games
Get up - life's too quick
I know someplace sick
Where this chick'll dance in the flames
We don't need any money
I always get in for free
You can get in too
If you get in with me

Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
You wanna play?
Let's run away
We won't be back before it's Christmas day
Take me out tonight (meow)

When I get a wink from the doorman
Do you know how lucky you'll be?
That you're on line with the feline of Avenue B

Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
You wanna prowl
Be my night owl?
Well take my hand we're gonna howl
Out tonight

In the evening I've got to roam
Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome
Feels too damn much like home
When the Spanish babies cry
So let's find a bar
So dark we forget who we are
And all the scars from the
Nevers and maybes die

Let's go out tonight
Have to go out tonight
You're sweet
Wanna hit the street?
Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?
Just take me out tonight

(MIMI makes her way to ROGER's door and ends the song in front of him.)

Please take me out tonight
Don't forsake me -- out tonight
I'll let you make me -- out tonight
Tonight -- tonight -- tonight

ANOTHER DAY

(The loft. MIMI plants a huge kiss on ROGER, who recoils.)

ROGER
Who do you think you are?
Barging in on me and my guitar
Little girl -- hey
The door is that way
You better go you know
The fire's out anyway
Take your powder -- take your candle
Your sweet whisper
I just can't handle
Well take your hair in the moonlight
Your brown eyes -- goodbye, goodnight
I should tell you I should tell you
I should tell you I should -- no!
Another time -- another place
Our temperature would climb
There'd be a long embrace
We'd do another dance
It'd be another play
Looking for romance?
Come back another day
Another day

MIMI
The heart may freeze or it can burn
The pain will ease if I can learn
There is no future
There is no past
I live this moment as my last
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today

ROGER
Excuse me if I'm off track
But if you're so wise
Then tell me -- why do you need smack?
Take your needle
Take your fancy prayer
And don't forget
Get the moonlight out of your hair
Long ago -- you might've lit up my heart
But the fire's dead -- ain't never ever gonna start
Another time -- another place
The words would only rhyme
We'd be in outer space
It'd be another song
We'd sing another way
You wanna prove me wrong?
Come back another day
Another day

MIMI
There's only yes
Only tonight
We must let go
To know what's right
No other course
No other way
No day but today

(Lights slowly fade up on the Life Support group.)

MIMI & OTHERS
I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal
Is just -- to be...

ROGER
Control your temper
She doesn't see
Who says that there's a soul?
Just let me be...

ALL
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today...

ROGER
Who do you think you are?
Barging in on me and my guitar
Little girl, hey
The door is that way
The fire's out anyway

ALL
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today

ROGER
Take your powder, take your candle
Take your brown eyes, your pretty smile, your silhouette
Another time, another place
Another rhyme, a warm embrace
Another dance, another way
Another chance, another day

ALL
No day but today

(MIMI and the Life Support group members exit. One person, STEVE, remains at stage right, above.)

WILL I?

(Various locations)

STEVE
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

GROUP #1
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

GROUP #2
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

GROUP #3
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

GROUP #4
Will I lose my dignity
Will someone care
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

(ROGER puts on his jacket and exits the loft.)

ON THE STREET

THREE HOMELESS PEOPLE
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing --
Out of town
Santa Fe

SQUEEGEEMAN
Honest living, man!

(He recoils as though he's almost been run over by a car.)

Feliz Navidad!

(Three POLICE OFFICERS, in full riot gear, enter and approach sleeping BLANKET PERSON. The FIRST OFFICER pokes her with a nightstick.)

HOMELESS PERSON
Evening, officers

(Without answering, the FIRST OFFICER raises his nightstick again.)

MARK (pointing his camera)
Smile for Ted Koppel, Officer Martin!

(The FIRST OFFICER lowers his stick.)

HOMELESS PERSON
And a Merry Christmas to your family

POLICE OFFICERS
Right!

(The POLICE OFFICERS stride offstage. MARK continues to film BLANKET PERSON.)

BLANKET PERSON (To MARK)
Who the fuck do you think you are?
I don't need no goddamn help
From some bleeding heart cameraman
My life's not for you to
Make a name for yourself on!

ANGEL
Easy, sugar, easy
He was just trying to --

BLANKET PERSON
Just trying to use me to kill his guilt
It's not that kind of movie, honey
Let's go -- this lot is full of
Motherfucking artists
Hey artist
You gotta dollar?
I thought not

(BLANKET PERSON crosses to downstage left with another HOMELESS PERSON.)

SANTA FE

(The Street.)

ANGEL
New York City --

MARK
Uh huh

ANGEL
Center of the universe

COLLINS
Sing it girl --

ANGEL
Times are shitty
But I'm pretty sure they can't get worse

MARK
I hear you

ANGEL
It's a comfort to know
When you're singing the hit-the-road blues
That anywhere else you could possibly go
After New York would be a pleasure cruise

COLLINS
Now you're talking
Well, I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzle
And I'm sick of grading papers -- that I know
And I'm shouting in my sleep, I need a muzzle
All this misery pays no salary, so
Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Oh sunny Santa Fe would be nice
Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
And leave this to the roaches and mice

COLLINS
Oh--oh

ALL
Oh--

ANGEL
You teach?

COLLINS
I teach -- Computer Age Philosophy
But my students would rather watch TV

ANGEL
America

ALL
America!

COLLINS
You're a sensitive aesthete
Brush the sauce onto the meat
You could make the menu sparkle with rhyme
You could drum a gentle drum
I could seat guests as they come
Chatting not about Heidegger, but wine!

COLLINS (with HOMELESS PEOPLE in the shadows)
Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Our labors would reap financial gains

ALL
Gains, gains, gains

COLLINS
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
And save from devastation our brains

HOMELESS
Save our brains

ALL
We'll pack up all our junk and fly so far away
Devote ourselves to projects that sell
We'll open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
Forget this cold Bohemian hell
Oh--

ALL
Oh--

COLLINS
Do you know the way to Santa Fe?
You know, tumbleweeds...prairie dogs...
Yeah

I'LL COVER YOU

MARK
I'll meet you at the show.
I'll try and convince Roger to go.

(MARK exits)

ANGEL
Alone at last.

COLLINS
He'll be back -- I guarantee.

ANGEL
I've been hearing violins all night.

COLLINS
Anything to do with me? Are we a thing?

ANGEL
Darling... we're everything!

Live in my house
I'll be your shelter
Just pay me back
With one thousand kisses
Be my lover -- I'll cover you

COLLINS
Open your door
I'll be your tenant
Don't got much baggage
To lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there -- I'll cover you

BOTH
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are, my love,
On life -- be my life

(They do a short dance.)

BOTH
Just slip me on
I'll be your tenant
Wherever -- whatever -- I'll be your coat

ANGEL
You'll be my king
And I'll be your castle

COLLINS
No you'll be my queen
And I'll be your moat

BOTH
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you are, my love,
On life -- all my life

I've longed to discover
Something as true as this is

COLLINS
So with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you

ANGEL
If you're cold
And you're lonely

COLLINS
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you

ANGEL
You've got one nickel only

COLLINS
When you're worn out
and tired

ANGEL
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you

COLLINS
When your heart has expired

ANGEL
With a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you

BOTH
Oh lover I'll cover you
Oh lover I'll cover you

WE'RE OKAY

JOANNE
(on cellular phone)
Steve -- Joanne
The Murget case?
A dismissal!
Good work counselor
(The pay phone rings. JOANNE answers it and begins a conversation with MAUREEN simultaneously juggling two other calls on her cellular phone.)
We're okay
Honeybear -- wait!
I'm on the other phone
Yes, I have the cowbell
We're okay
(into cellular phone)
So tell them we'll sue
But a settlement will do
Sexual harassment -- and civil rights too
Steve, you're great
(into pay phone)
No you cut the paper plate
Didja cheat on Mark a lot would you say?
We're okay
Honey hold on...
(into cellular phone)
Steve, hold on...
(JOANNE presses the call-waiting button on the cellular phone)
Hello?
Dad -- yes
I beeped you
Maureen is coming to Mother's hearing
We're okay
(into pay phone)
Honeybear - what?
Newt's lesbian sister
I'll tell them
(into cellular phone)
You heard?
(into pay phone)
They heard
We're okay
(into cellular phone)
And to you dad
(JOANNE presses the call-waiting as she speaks into the pay phone)
Yes -- Jill is there?
(into cellular phone)
Steve gotta --
(into pay phone)
Jill with the short black hair?
The Calvin Klein model?
(into cellular phone)
Steve, gotta go!
(into pay phone)
The model who lives in Penthouse A?
We're
We're okay
I'm on my way

CHRISTMAS BELLS

FIVE HOMELESS PEOPLE
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are singing
On TV - at Saks

SQUEEGEEMAN
Honest living, honest living
Honest living, honest living
Honest living, honest living

ALL FIVE HOMELESS
Can't you spare a dime or two
Here but for the grace of God go you
You'll be merry
I'll be merry
Tho merry ain't in my vocabulary
No sleighbells
No Santa Claus
No yule log
No tinsel
No holly
No hearth
No

SOLOIST
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer

ALL FIVE
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
No room at the Holiday Inn -- oh no

(A few flakes of snow begin to descend.)

And it's beginning to snow

(The stage suddenly explodes with life! The scene is St. Mark's Place on Christmas Eve -- an open-air bazaar of color, noise, movement.)

VENDORS
Hats, bats, shoes, booze
Mountain bikes, potpourri
Leather bags, girlie mags
Forty-fives, AZT

VENDOR #1
No one's buying
Feel like crying

ALL
No room at the Holiday Inn, oh no
And it's beginning to snow

(Lights up on one woman, who is showing off a collection of stolen coats to COLLINS and ANGEL.)

VENDOR #2
How about a fur --
In perfect shape
Owned by an MBA from uptown
I got a tweed
Broken in by a greedy
Broker who went broke
And then broke down

COLLINS
You don't have to do this

ANGEL
Hush your mouth, it's Christmas

COLLINS
I do not deserve you, Angel

COLLINS
Give--give
All you do
Is give
Give me some way to show
How much you've touched me so

ANGEL
Wait--what's on the floor?
Let's see some more...
No--no--no...
Kiss me -- it's beginning to snow

(Lights focus on MARK and ROGER on right above.)

MARK
... She said, "Would you light my candle"
And she put on a pout
And she wanted you
To take her out tonight?

ROGER
Right

MARK
She got you out!

ROGER
She was more than okay
But I pushed her away
It was bad -- I got mad
And I had to get her out of my sight

MARK
Wait, wait, wait -- you said she was sweet

ROGER
Let's go eat -- I'll just get fat
It's the one vice left when you're dead meat

(MIMI has entered looking furtively for THE MAN.)

There -- that's her

MARK
Maureen?

ROGER
Mimi!

MARK
Whoa!

ROGER
I should go.

BOTH
Hey -- it's beginning to snow

(The POLICE OFFICERS, in riot gear, enter above.)

POLICE OFFICERS
I'm dreaming of a white, right Christmas

(POLICE OFFICERS exit.)

MIMI & JUNKIES
Follow the man -- follow the man
With his pockets full of the jam
Follow the man -- follow the man
Help me out, daddy
If you can
Got any D man?

THE MAN
I'm cool

MIMI & JUNKIES
Got any C man?

THE MAN
I'm cool

MIMI & JUNKIES
Got any X?
Any smack?
Any horse?
Any jugie boogie boy?
Any blow?

(ROGER pulls MIMI aside.)

ROGER
Hey

MIMI
Hey

ROGER
I just want to say
I'm sorry for the way --

MIMI
Forget it

ROGER
I blew up
Can I make it up to you?

MIMI
How?

ROGER
Dinner party?

MIMI
That'll do

THE MAN
Hey lover boy -- cutie pie
You steal my client -- you die

ROGER
You didn't miss me -- you won't miss her
You'll never lack for customers

JUNKIES
I'm willin'
I'm illin'
I gotta get my sickness off
Gotta run, gotta ride
Gotta gun, gotta hide -- gotta go

THE MAN
And it's beginning to snow

BENNY
(entering, talking on his cellular phone)
Wish me luck, Alison
The protest is on

COAT VENDOR
L.L Bean
Geoffrey Beene
Burburry zip out
Lining

JUNKIES
Got any C man?
Got any D man?
Got any B man?
Got any crack?
Got any X?

SQUEEGEEMAN
Honest living --

ROGER
Mark, this is Mimi --

MARK & MIMI
Hi

ROGER
She'll be dining -- with us

COAT VENDOR
Here's a new arrival

THE MAN
That is an ounce

VENDORS
Hats, dats, bats

COLLINS
That's my coat!

COAT VENDOR
We give discounts

MARK
I think we've met

ANGEL
Let's get a better one

COLLINS
It's a sham

MIMI
That's what he said

THE MAN
I said it's a gram!

COLLINS
But she's a thief!

ANGEL
But she brought us together

BENNY
Which investor is coming??

COLLINS
I'll take the leather

BENNY
Your father? -- damn!

(The following is sung simultaneously.)

HOMELESS & VENDORS
Christmas bells are swinging
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are singing
In my dreams -- next year
Once you donate you can go
Celebrate in Tuckahoe
You'll feel cheery
I'll feel cheery
Tho' I don't really know that theory
No bathrobe
No steuben glass
No cappucino makers
No pearls, no diamonds
No 'Chestnuts roasting on an open fire'
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
No room at the Holiday Inn, oh no --

POLICE OFFICERS
I'm dreaming of a white Christmas
Just like the ones I used to know
Jingle bells -- prison cells
Fa la la la -- fa la la la
You have the right to remain
Silent night holy night
Fall on your knees oh night divine
You'll do some time
Fa la la la la
Fa la la la la

JUNKIES
Got any C man?
Got any D man?
Got any B man?
Got any X? -- Crack?
I'm willin' -- I'm illin'
Gotta get my sickness off
C-D help me
Follow the man -- follow the man
Follow the man
Jugie boogie -- jugie boogie
Follow the man -- follow the man
Any crack any X any jugie boogie boy
Any blow any X any jugie boogie boy
Got any D man, got any C man
Got any crack -- any X -- any jugie boogie?

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-five

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-five

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
No way
Twenty-four

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-four

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Not today
Twenty-three

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-three

ANGEL
Fifteen
It's old

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-two

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Twenty-one

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDORr
Seventeen

ANGEL
Fifteen

COAT VENDOR
Fifteen

ANGEL & COAT VENDOR
Sold!

MARK & ROGER
Let's
Go to
The lot -- Maureen's performing

MIMI
Who's Maureen?

ROGER
His ex

MARK
But I am over her

ROGER
Let's not hold hands yet

MIMI
Is that a warning?

ALL THREE
He/You/I
Just
Need(s)
To take it slow
I should tell you I should tell you
I should tell you I should tell you
I should tell you I ...

ALL
And it's beginning to
And it's beginning to
And it's beginning to --

(Lights blackout and a blinding headlight comes through the door. As it reaches downstage, the lights come up and reveal MAUREEN.)

MAUREEN
Joanne, which way to the stage?

ALL
Snow!!!

(Blackout.)

OVER THE MOON

MARK
Maureen's performance.

(MAUREEN stands in front of a microphone.)

MAUREEN
Last night I had a dream. I found myself in a desert called Cyberland.
It was hot. My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirsty.
Out of the abyss walked a cow -- Elsie.
I asked if she had anything to drink.
She said, "I'm forbidden to produce milk.
In Cyberland, we only drink Diet Coke."
(reverb: Coke, Coke, Coke)
She said, "Only thing to do is jump over the moon"
"They've closed everything real down...like barns, troughs, performance spaces...
And replaced it all with lies and rules and virtual life.
(reverb: Life, Life, Life)
But there is a way out..."

BACKUPS
Leap of faith, leap of faith
Leap of faith, leap of faith

MAUREEN
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
I gotta get out of here! It's like I'm being tied
to the hood of a yellow rental truck, being packed
in with fertilizer and fuel oil, pushed over a cliff
by a suicidal Mickey Mouse! -- I've gotta find a way

BACKUPS
Leap of faith, etc.

MAUREEN
To jump over the moon
Only thing to do is jump over the moon

MAUREEN
Then a little bulldog entered. His name (we have learned) was Benny.
And although he once had principles,
he abandoned them to live as a lap dog to a wealthy daughter of the revolution.
"That's bull," he said.
"Ever since the cat took up the fiddle, that cow's been jumpy.
And the dish and the spoon were evicted from the table -- and eloped...
She's had trouble with that milk and the moon ever since.
Maybe it's a female thing.
'Cause who'd want to leave Cyberland anyway?...
Walls ain't so bad.
The dish and the spoon for instance.
They were down on their luck - knocked on my doghouse door.
I said, 'Not in my backyard, utensils! Go back to China!'"
"The only way out is up," Elsie whispered to me.
"A leap of faith. Still thirsty?" she asked.
Parched. "Have some milk."
I lowered myself beneath her and held my mouth to her swollen udder
And sucked the sweetest milk I'd ever tasted."

(MAUREEN makes a slurping, sucking sound.)

"Climb on board," she said.
And as a harvest moon rose over Cyberland,
We reared back and sprang into a gallop.
Leaping out of orbit!
I awoke singing

BACKUPS
Leap of faith, etc.

MAUREEN
Only thing to do
Only thing to do is jump
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
Only thing to do is jump over the moon
Over the moon -- over the
Moooooooo
Moooooooo
Moooooooo
Moooooooo
Moo with me.

(MAUREEN encourages the audience to moo with her. She says, "C'mon, sir, moo with me," etc. The audience responds. When the "moos" reach a crescendo, she cuts them off with a big sweep of her arms.)

Thank you.

(Blackout.)

LA VIE BOHEME

(Downstage right, the PRINCIPALS have lined up and are waiting to be seated. A large table is situated down center. Down and to the right, BENNY and MR. GREY are seated at a smaller table. The RESTAURANT MAN tries to shoo our friends out.)

RESTAURANT MAN
No please no
Not tonight please no
Mister -- can't you go --
Not tonight -- can't have a scene

ROGER
What?

RESTAURANT MAN
Go, please go --
You -- Hello, sir --
I said no
Important customer

MARK
What am I -- just a blur?

RESTAURANT MAN
You sit all night -- you never buy!

MARK
That's a lie -- that's a lie
I had a tea the other day

RESTAURANT MAN
You couldn't pay

MARK
Oh yeah

COLLINS
Benjamin Coffin the third -- here?

RESTAURANT MAN
Oh no!

ALL
Wine and beer!

MAUREEN
The enemy of Avenue A
We'll stay

(They sit.)

RESTAURANT MAN
Oy vey!

COLLINS
What brings the mogul in his own mind to the Life Cafe?

BENNY
I would like to propose a toast
To Maureen's noble try
It went well

MAUREEN
Go to hell

BENNY
Was the yuppie scum stomped
Not counting the homeless
How many tickets weren't comped

ROGER
Why did Muffy --

BENNY
Alison

ROGER
Miss the show?

BENNY
There was a death in the family
If you must know

ANGEL
Who died?

BENNY
Our Akita

BENNY, MARK, ANGEL, COLLINS
Evita

BENNY
Mimi -- I'm surprised
A bright and charming girl like you
Hangs out with these slackers
(Who don't adhere to deals)
They make fun -- yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead

(The BOHEMIANS immediately begin to enact a mock funeral, with MARK delivering the "eulogy.")

MARK
Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes

COLLINS & ROGER
Dies irae -- dies illa
Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal v' yitkadash, etc.

MARK
Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of mother earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass -- you bet your ass to --
(MAUREEN flashes hers.)
La vie Boheme

ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

MARK
To days of inspiration
Playing hookie, making something out of nothing
The need to express --
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane
Going mad

To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad

To riding your bike,
Midday past the three piece suits
To fruits -- to no absolutes --
To Absolut -- to choice --
To the Village Voice --
To any passing fad

To being an us for once
Instead of a them

ALL
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

(JOANNE enters.)

MAUREEN
Is the equipment in a pyramid?

JOANNE
It is, Maureen

MAUREEN
The mixer doesn't have a case
Don't give me that face

(MAUREEN smacks JOANNE's ass as she exits. MR. GREY reacts.)

MR. GREY
Ahhemm!

MAUREEN
Hey Mister -- she's my sister

RESTAURANT MAN
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls

A BOY
Ugh

COLLINS
It tastes the same

MIMI
If you close your eyes

RESTAURANT MAN
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?

ALL
Wine and beer!

MIMI & ANGEL
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation

MARK
Mucho masturbation

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new

COLLINS
To Sontag

ANGEL
To Sondheim

FOUR PEOPLE
To anything taboo

COLLINS & ROGER
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage

COLLINS
Lenny Bruce

ROGER
Langston Hughes

MAUREEN
To the stage

PERSON #1
To Uta

PERSON #2
To Buddha

PERSON #3
Pablo Neruda, too

MARK & MIMI
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em

ALL>
La vie Boheme

(JOANNE returns.)

MAUREEN
And wipe the speakers off before you pack

JOANNE
Yes, Maureen

MAUREEN
Well -- hurry back

(MAUREEN and JOANNE kiss.)

MR. GREY
Sisters?

MAUREEN
We're close

(ANGEL jumps on top of COLLINS, who's on the table. They kiss.)

ANGEL, COLLINS, MAUREEN, MARK, MR. GREY
Brothers!

MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & THREE OTHERS
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana

ALL
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav Havel -- The Sex Pistols, 8BC,
To no shame -- never playing the Fame Game

COLLINS
To marijuana

ALL
To sodomy,
It's between God and me
To S & M

(MR. GREY walks out.)

BENNY
Waiter...Waiter...Waiter

ALL
La vie Boheme

COLLINS
In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner...
Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.

ROGER
Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days.

(ROGER picks up an electric guitar and starts to tune it.)

MARK
Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot,
Will sing Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder,
While accompanying herself on the electric cello --
Which she has never studied.

(At this point, JOANNE has entered and seen MAUREEN playfully kiss MARK. JOANNE exits. BENNY pulls MIMI aside.)

BENNY
Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us?

MIMI
There's nothing to know

BENNY
Don't you think that we should discuss --

MIMI
It was three months ago

BENNY
He doesn't act like he's with you

MIMI
We're taking it slow

BENNY
Where is he now?

MIMI
He's right -- hmm

BENNY
Uh huh

MIMI
Where'd he go?

MARK
Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song.
(ROGER picks up a guitar and plays Musetta's Theme.)
That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz"

COLLINS
Angel Dumott Schunard will now model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub.

ANGEL
And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist --
including the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipment
To self-destruct, as it broadcast the words:

ALL
"Actual reality -- Act Up -- Fight AIDS"

BENNY
Check!

(BENNY exits. Lights on MIMI and ROGER.)

MIMI
Excuse me -- did I do something wrong?
I get invited -- then ignored -- all night long

ROGER
I've been trying -- I'm not lying
No one's perfect. I've got baggage

MIMI
Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

ROGER
I should tell you --

MIMI
I've got baggage too

ROGER
I should tell you

BOTH
Baggage -- wine --

OTHERS
And beer!

(Several beepers sound. Each turns off his or her beeper.)

MIMI
AZT break

(MIMI, ROGER, ANGEL, and COLLINS take pills.)

ROGER
You?

MIMI
Me. You?

ROGER
Mimi

(They hold hands and stare into each other's eyes lovingly. The rest of the company freezes.)

I SHOULD TELL YOU

ROGER
I should tell you I'm disaster
I forget how to begin it

MIMI
Let's just make this part go faster
I have yet -- to be in it
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell I blew the candle out
Just to get back in

ROGER
I'd forgotten how to smile
Until your candle burned my skin

MIMI
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you

BOTH
I should tell
Well, here we go
Now we --

MIMI
Oh no

ROGER
I know -- this something is
Here goes --

MIMI
Here goes

ROGER
Guess so
It's starting to
Who knows --

MIMI
Who knows

BOTH
Who knows where
Who goes there
Who knows
Here goes

Trusting desire -- starting to learn
Walking through fire without a burn
Clinging -- a shoulder, a leap begins
Stinging and older, asleep on pins
So here we go
Now we --

ROGER
Oh no

MIMI
I know

ROGER
Oh no

BOTH
Who knows where -- who goes there
Here goes -- here goes
Here goes -- here goes
Here goes -- here goes

LA VIE BOHEME B

(ROGER and MIMI exit. JOANNE reenters, obviously steamed.)

MAUREEN
Are we packed?

JOANNE
Yes and by next week
I want you to be

MAUREEN
Pookie?

JOANNE
And you should see
They've padlocked your building
And they're rioting on Avenue B
Benny called the cops

MAUREEN
That fuck!

JOANNE
They don't know what they're doing
The cops are sweeping the lot
But no one's leaving
They're just sitting there, mooing!

ALL
Yea!!!

(Pandemonium erupts in the restaurant.)

ALL
To dance!

A GIRL
No way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfection
Muscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders!

ALL
Film!

MARK
Adventure, tedium, no family, boring locations,
Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze!

ALL
Music!

ANGEL
Food of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation,
Rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition!

ALL
Anarchy!

COLLINS & MAUREEN
Revolution, justice, screaming for solutions,
Forcing changes, risk, and danger
Making noise and making pleas!

ALL
To faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross dressers too

MAUREEN
To me

MARK
To me

COLLINS & ANGEL
To me

ALL
To you, and you and you, you and you
To people living with, living with, living with
Not dying from disease
Let he among us without sin
Be the first to condemn
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

MARK
Anyone out of the mainstream
Is anyone in the mainstream?
Anyone alive--with a sex drive

OTHERS
La vie boheme
La vie boheme
La vie boheme

MARK
Tear down the wall
Aren't we all?
The opposite of war isn't peace...
It's creation!

ALL
La vie Boheme

MARK
The riot continues. The Christmas tree goes up in flames. The snow dances. Oblivious, Mimi and Roger share a small, lovely kiss.

ALL
Viva la vie Boheme

Act II

(The COMPANY enters from all directions and forms a line across the apron of the stage.)

SEASONS OF LOVE

COMPANY
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure -- measure a year?

In daylights -- In sunsets
In midnights -- In cups of coffee
In inches -- In miles
In laughter -- In strife

In -- Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?
How about love?
How about love?
Measure in love

Seasons of love
Seasons of love

SOLOIST #1
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure the life
Of a woman or a man?

SOLOIST #2
In truths that she learned
Or in times that he cried
In bridges he burned
Or the way that she died

ALL
It's time now - to sing out
Tho' the story never ends
Let's celebrate
Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the love
Remember the love
Remember the love
Measure in love

SOLOIST #1
Measure, measure your life in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love

HAPPY NEW YEAR

(New Year's Eve. The scene opens on the street outside the apartment. One table, lying on its end, serves as the door.)

MARK (carrying mock door)
Pan to the padlocked door. New Year's Rocking Eve. The breaking-back-into-the-building party...

(ROGER and MIMI try in vain to pry a padlock from the door. They appear to be happy.)

MIMI
How long 'til next year?

ROGER
Three and half minutes...

MIMI
I'm giving up my vices
I'm going back -- back to school
Eviction or not
This week's been so hot
That long as I've got you
I know I'll be cool

I couldn't crack the love code, dear
'Til you made the lock on my heart explode
It's gonna be a happy new year
A happy new year

(MARK enters the scene.)

MARK
Coast is clear
You're supposed to be working
That's for midnight
Where are they?
There isn't much time

MIMI
Maybe they're dressing
I mean what does one wear that's apropos
For a party -- that's also a crime

(MAUREEN enters wearing a skintight "cat burgular" suit and carrying a bag of potato chips.)

MAUREEN
Chips, anyone?

MARK
You can take the girl out of Hicksville
But you can't take the Hicksville out of the girl

MAUREEN
My riot got you on TV
I deserve a royalty

MIMI
Be nice you two
Or no god awful champagne

(MAUREEN takes out a cellular phone and dials.)

MAUREEN
Don't mind if I do
No luck?

ROGER
Bolted plywood, padlocked with a chain
A total dead end

MAUREEN
Just like my ex-girlfriend
(on cellular phone)
Honey...?
I know you're there ...
Please pick up the phone
Are you okay?
It's not funny
It's not fair
How can I atone?
Are you okay?
I lose control
But I can learn to behave
Give me one more chance
Let me be your slave
I'll kiss your Doc Martens
Let me kiss your Doc Martens
Your every wish I will obey

(JOANNE enters)

JOANNE
That might be okay
Down girl
Heel...stay
I did a bit of research
With my friends at legal aid
Technically, you're squatters
There's hope
But just in case
(JOANNE whips out...)

MARK & JOANNE
Rope!

MARK (pointing off)
We can hoist a line --

JOANNE
To the fire escape --

MARK
And tie off at...

MARK & JOANNE
That bench!

MAUREEN
I can't take them as chums

JOANNE
Start hoisting...wench

(All three cross upstage and attempt to throw up the length of rope over a plank. ROGER and MIMI are laughing and holding each other.)

ROGER
I think I should be laughing
Yet I forget
Forget how to begin
I'm feeling something inside
And yet I still can't decide
If I should hide
Or make a wide open grin
Last week I wanted just to disappear
My life was dust
But now it just may be a happy new year
A happy new year

(COLLINS enters with ANGEL. COLLINS, dressed in black and wearing sunglasses, carries a bottle of champagne. ANGEL wears a plastic dress and blonde wig: a small blowtorch is slung around his shoulder.)

COLLINS
Bond -- James Bond

ANGEL
And Pussy Galore -- in person

MIMI
Pussy -- you came prepared

ANGEL
I was a boy scout once
And a brownie
'Til some brat got scared

COLLINS (to MIMI)
Aha! Moneypenny -- my martini!

MIMI
Will bad champagne do?

ROGER
That's shaken -- not stirred

COLLINS
Pussy -- the bolts

(COLLINS takes a swig of champagne as ANGEL grabs the blowtorch.)

ANGEL
Just say the word!

(ANGEL turns on the blowtorch.)

MIMI
Two minutes left to execute our plan

COLLINS
Where's everyone else?

ROGER
Playing Spiderman

MARK
Ironic close up: tight
On the phone machine's red light
Once the Boho boys are gone
The power mysteriously comes on

VOICE MAIL #3

(Lights up on MRS. COHEN, who's standing on a chair and holding up a phone.)

MRS. COHEN
Mark, it's the wicked witch of the west
Your mother
Happy new year from Scarsdale
We're all impressed that the riot footage
Made the nightly news
Even your father says Mazeltov
Honey -- call him
Love, Mom

(MRS. COHEN, stepping off the chair, passes the phone to ALEXI DARLING.)

ALEXI DARLING (on the chair)
Mark Cohen
Alexi Darling from Buzzline

MARK
Oh, that show's so sleazy.

ALEXI DARLING
Your footage on the riots: A-one
Feature segment -- network -- dealtime
I'm sending you a contract
Ker-ching ker-ching
Marky give us a call 970-4301
Or at home try 863-6754
Or -- my cell phone at 919-763-0090
Or -- you can e-mail me
At Darling Alexi Newscom dot net
Or -- you can page me at --
(Beeeep!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR B

MAUREEN
I think we need an agent!

MARK
We?

JOANNE
That's selling out

MARK
But it's nice to dream

MAUREEN
Yeah -- it's network TV
And it's all thanks to me

MARK
Somehow I think I smell
The whiff of a scheme

JOANNE
Me too

MAUREEN
We can plan another protest

JOANNE
We?!

MAUREEN
This time you can shoot from the start... (to MARK)
You'll direct (to JOANNE)
Starring me!

(Lights shift back to downstairs.)

ALL
5, 4, 3... Open sesame!!
(The door falls away, revealing MARK, JOANNE, and MAUREEN.)
Happy new year
Happy new year
Happy new...

(BENNY enters.)

BENNY
I see that you've beaten me to the punch

ROGER
How did you know we'd be here?

BENNY
I had a hunch

MARK
You're not mad?

BENNY
I'm here to end this war
It's a shame you went and destroyed the door

MIMI
Why all the sudden the big about face

BENNY
The credit is yours
You made a good case

ROGER
What case?

BENNY
Mimi came to see me
And she had much to say

MIMI
That's not how you put it at all yesterday

BENNY
I couldn't stop thinking about the whole mess
Mark -- you want to get this on film

(MARK picks up his camera.)

MARK
I guess

BENNY (formally)
I regret the unlucky circumstances
Of the past seven days

ROGER
Circumstance? You padlocked our door

BENNY
And it's with great pleasure
On behalf of CyberArts
That I hand you this key

(BENNY hands him the key.)

ANGEL
Golf claps

(They oblige.)

MARK
I have no juice in my battery

BENNY
Reshoot

ROGER
I see -- this is a photo opportunity

MAUREEN
The benevolent God
Ushers the poor artists back to their flat
Were you planning on taking down the barbed wire
From the lot, too?

ROGER
Anything but that!

BENNY
Clearing the lot was a safety concern
We break ground this month
But you can return

MAUREEN
That's why you're here with people you hate
Instead of with Muffy at Muffy's estate

BENNY
I'd honestly rather be with you tonight than in Westport --

ROGER
Spare us old sport, the soundbite

BENNY
Mimi -- since your was are so seductive

MIMI
You came on to me!

BENNY
Persuade him not to be so counterproductive

ROGER
Liar!

BENNY
Why not tell them what you wore to my place?

MIMI
I was on my way to work

BENNY
Black leather and lace!
My desk was a mess
I think I'm still sore

MIMI
Cause I kicked him and told him I wasn't his whore!

BENNY
Does your boyfriend know
Who your last boyfriend was?

ROGER
I'm not her boyfriend
I don't care what she does

ANGEL
People! Is this any way to start a new year?
Have compassion
Benny just lost his cat

BENNY
My dog -- but I appreciate that

ANGEL
My cat had a fall
And I went through hell

BENNY
It's like losing a --
How did you know that she fell?

COLLINS (Hands BENNY a glass of champagne)
Champagne?

BENNY
Don't mind if I do
To dogs!

ALL BUT BENNY
No, Benny -- to you!

ANGEL
Let's make a resolution

MIMI
I'll drink to that

COLLINS
Let's always stay friends

JOANNE
Tho' we may have our disputes

MAUREEN
This family tree's got deep roots

MARK
Friendship is thicker than blood

ROGER
That depends

MIMI
Depends on trust

ROGER
Depends on true devotion

JOANNE
Depends on love

MARK (to ROGER)
Depends on not denying emotion

ROGER
Perhaps

ALL
It's gonna be a happy new year

ROGER
I guess

ALL
It's gonna be a happy new year

ROGER
You're right

(ANGEL brings ROGER and MIMI together. ANGEL and others move away from MIMI and ROGER.)

ANGEL
It's gonna be a happy new year

ROGER & MIMI
I'm sorry

ROGER
Coming?

MIMI
In a minute -- I'm fine -- go

(ROGER kisses MIMI and exits. THE MAN appears.)

THE MAN
Well, well, well. What have we here?
(He walks over to MIMI and holds out a small plastic bag of white powder.)
It's gonna be a happy new year
There, there...etc.

(Fade out.)

TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME

MARK
Valentine's Day...Pan across the empty lot. Roger's down at Mimi's, where he's been for almost two months now -- although he keeps talking about selling his guitar and heading out of town. (Still jealous of Benny)... God knows where Collins and Angel are...Could be that new Shanty Town near the river or a suite at the Plaza...Maureen and Joanne are rehearsing...

JOANNE
I said once more from the top!

MAUREEN
I said no!

MARK
That is, if they're speaking this week... Me? I'm here. Nowhere.

(Lights up on the scene.)

JOANNE
And the line is "Cyber Arts and its corporate sponsor, Grey Communications, would like to mitigate the Christmas Eve riots..." What is so difficult...?

MAUREEN
It just doesn't roll off my tongue. I like my version.

JOANNE
You -- dressed as a groundhog -- to protest the groundbreaking...

MAUREEN
It's a metaphor!

JOANNE
It's...less than brilliant.

MAUREEN
That's it, Miss Ivy League!

JOANNE
What?

MAUREEN
Ever since New Year's, I haven't said boo. I let you direct, I didn't pierce my nipples because it grossed you out. I didn't stay and dance at the Clit Club that night, 'cause you wanted to go home...

JOANNE
You were flirting with the woman in rubber!

MAUREEN
That's what this is about? There will always be women in rubber flirting with me! Give me a break.

Every single day
I walk down the street
I hear people say,
"Baby's so sweet"
Ever since puberty
Everybody stares at me
Boys - girls
I can't can't help it baby
So be kind
Don't lose your mind
Just remember that I'm your baby

Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
Take me baby or leave me

A tiger in a cage
Can never see the sun
This diva needs her stage
Baby - let's have fun!
You are the one I choose
Folks'd kill to fill your shoes
You love the limelight too, baby
So be mine
Or don't waste my time
Cryin' -- "Honeybear -- are you still my baby?"

Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me

No way -- can I be what I'm not
But hey -- don't you want your girl hot!
Don't fight -- don't lose your head
Cause every night -- who's in your bed?
Who's in your bed, baby?
(Pouts in JOANNE's direction)
Kiss, Pookie.

JOANNE
It won't work
I look before I leap
I love margins and discipline
I make lists in my sleep
Baby what's my sin?
Never quit -- I follow through
I hate mess -- but I love you
What to do
With my impromptu baby?
So be wise
This girl satisfies
You've got a prize
But don't compromise
You're one lucky baby
Take me for what I am

MAUREEN
A control freak

JOANNE
Who I was meant to be

MAUREEN
A snob -- yet overattentive

JOANNE
And if you give a damn

MAUREEN
A lovable, droll geek

JOANNE
Take me baby or leave me

MAUREEN
And anal retentive!

BOTH
That's it!

JOANNE
The straw that breaks my back

BOTH
I quit

JOANNE
Unless you take it back

BOTH
Women

MAUREEN
What is it about them?

BOTH
Can't live --
With them --
Or without them!
Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you give a damn
Take me baby or leave me
Take me baby
Or leave me
Guess I'm leavin'
I'm gone!

(They both sit.)

Top

SEASONS OF LOVE B

COMPANY
In diapers -- report cards
In spoke wheels -- in speeding tickets
In contracts -- dollars
In funerals -- in births
In -- five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you figure
A last year on earth?

Figure in love
Figure in love
Figure in love
Measure in love
Seasons of love
Seasons of love

Top

WITHOUT YOU (Mimi's Apartment)

(MIMI's apartment. Three beds appear downstage. One, a hospital bed, is occupied by ANGEL. ROGER sits on another, JOANNE on the third. MIMI approaches ROGER, and then appears to be in a hurry.)

ROGER
Where were you?

MIMI
I'm sorry. I'm late...

ROGER (interrupting)
I know. You lost your keys. No, you went for a walk; you had to help your mother. (As he picks up the guitar) And how's Benny? I'm gonna work upstairs tonight.

MIMI
Wait...
I should tell you
I should ...
Never mind...

ROGER
Happy spring

(ROGER exits. MIMI pulls out a just-purchased stash and angrily flings it across the room. As she sings the following, a stylized "musical beds" is choreographed around her; during the bridge of the song, COLLINS carries ANGEL from the hospital bed and ROGER takes his place. By the end of the song, MAUREEN and JOANNE are reunited, as are ROGER and MIMI. COLLINS and ANGEL have lain down together, where ANGEL dies.)

MIMI
Without you
The ground thaws
The rain falls
The grass grows

Without you
The seeds root
The flowers bloom
The children play

The stars gleam
The poets dream
The eagles fly
Without you

The earth turns
The sun burns
But I die
Without you

Without you
The breeze warms
The girl smiles
The cloud moves

Without you
The tides change
The boys run
The oceans crash

The crowds roar
The days soar
The babies cry
Without you

The moon glows
The river flows
But I die
Without you

ROGER
The world revives

MIMI
Colors renew

BOTH
But I know blue
Only blue
Lonely blue
Within me, blue
Without you

MIMI
Without you
The hand gropes
The ear hears
The pulse beats

ROGER
Without you
The eyes gaze
The legs walk
The lungs breathe

BOTH
The mind churns
The heart yearns
The tears dry
Without you

Life goes on
But I'm gone
Cause I die

ROGER
Without you

MIMI
Without you

ROGER
Without you

BOTH
Without you

Top

VOICE MAIL #4 (The loft. The phone rings...)

ROGER & MARK'S ANSWERING MACHINE
"Speak" ... ("Beeeep!")

ALEXI DARLING
Mark Cohen
Alexi Darling
Labor Day weekend
In East Hampton
On the beach
Just saw Alec Baldwin
Told him you say hi
Just kidding
We still need directors
You still need money
You know you need money
Pick up the phone
Don't be afraid of ker-ching ker-ching
Marky -- sell us your soul
Just kidding
We're waiting...

Top

CONTACT (Various fantasy bed locales)

(The COMPANY forms two main groups. As the music begins, a group of dancers start a sensual life and death dance, while a group of actors gather around a table centerstage to speak words of passion which punctuate the dancing. Eventually, the actors converge on the table and cover themselves with a white sheet, while moving to the music.)

GROUP A (ROGER, MARK, JOANNE, BENNY)
Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
Wet-wet-wet-red-heat
Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
Wet-wet-wet-red-heat
Please don't stop please
Please don't stop stop
Stop stop stop don't
Please please please please
Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
Wet-wet-wet-red-heat
Sticky-licky-trickle-tickle
Steamy-creamy-stroking-soaking

GROUP B (MIMI, COLLINS, MAUREEN, ANGEL)
Hot-hot-hot-sweat-sweet
Wet-wet-wet-red-heat

COLLINS
Touch!

MAUREEN
Taste!

MIMI
Deep!

COLLINS
Dark!

MAUREEN
Kiss!

COLLINS
Beg!

MIMI
Slap!

MIMI, MAUREEN & COLLINS
Fear!

COLLINS
Thick!

COLLINS, MIMI & MAUREEN
Red, red
Red, red
Red, red -- please

MAUREEN
Harder

ANGEL
Faster

MAUREEN
Wetter

MIMI
Bastard

COLLINS
You whore

MAUREEN
You cannibal!

MIMI & ANGEL
More!

MAUREEN
You animal!

MAUREEN, COLLINS & MIMI
Fluid no fluid no contact yes
No contact

ALL
Fire fire burn--burn yes!
No latex rubber rubber
Fire latex rubber latex bummer
Lover bummer

(The music explodes into a fevered rhythmic heat as ANGEL is revealed in a lone spotlight, dancing wildly.)

ANGEL
Take me
Take me
Today for you
Tomorrow for me
Today me
Tomorrow you
Tomorrow you
Love
you
Love you
I love
You I love
You!
Take me
Take me
I love you

(The music dies as ANGEL vanishes.)

ROGER'S VOICE
Um

JOANNE'S VOICE
Wait

MIMI'S VOICE
Slipped

COLLINS' VOICE
Shit

JOANNE'S VOICE
Ow!

ROGER'S VOICE
Where'd it go?

MIMI'S VOICE
Safe

COLLINS' VOICE
Damn

MAUREEN'S VOICE
I think I missed
Don't get pissed

ALL
It was bad for me -- was it bad for you?

JOANNE
It's over

MAUREEN
It's over

ROGER
It's over

MIMI
It's over

COLLINS
It's over

Top

I'LL COVER YOU (REPRISE) (In a church. ANGEL's memorial.)

MIMI
Angel was one of my closest friends. It's right that it's Halloween, because it was her favorite holiday. I knew we'd hit it off from the moment we met. That skin head was bothering her, and she said she was more of a man than he'd ever be, and more of a woman than he'd ever get...

MARK
...and then there was the time that he walked up to this group of tourists -- and they were petrified, because, A -- they were obviously lost, and B -- they had probably never spoken to a drag queen before in their lives...and he...she just offered to escort them out of Alphabet City, and then she let them take a picture with her, and then she said she'd help 'em find the Circle Line...

MAUREEN
...so much more original then any of us...you'd find an old table cloth on the street and make a dress...and next year, sure enough -- they'd be mass producing them at the Gap! You always said how lucky you were that we were all friends -- but it was us, baby, who were the lucky ones.

COLLINS
Live in my house
I'll be your shelter
Just pay me back
With one thousand kisses
Be my lover
And I'll cover you
Open your door -- I'll be your tenant
Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet
But sweet kisses I've got to spare
I'll be there -- I'll cover you
I think they meant it
When they said you can't buy love
Now I know you can rent it
A new lease you were, my love, on life
All my life
I've longed to discover
Something as true
As this is

(The following is sung simultaneously.)

JOANNE & SOLOIST
So with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you with a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you iwht a thousand sweet kisses
I'll cover you

COLLINS
If you're cold and you're lonely
You've got one nickel only
When you're worn out and tired
When your heart has expired

COMPANY
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dear
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred -- measure a year
Oh lover I'll cover you
Oh lover I'll cover you

COLLINS & COMPANY
Oh lover
I'll cover you
Oh lover

COLLINS
I'll cover you

COMPANY
Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty-five thousand seasons of love

COLLINS
I'll cover you

Top

HALLOWEEN

(Outside of the church. MARK is speaking on the pay phone)
MARK
Hi. It's Mark Cohen. Is Alexi there?...No, don't bother her. Just tell her I'm running a little late for our appointment...Yes, I'm still coming... Yes, I signed the contract... Thanks...

How did we get here?
How the hell...
Pan left -- close on the steeple of the church
How did I get here?
How the hell...
Christmas
Christmas Eve -- last year
How could a night so frozen be so scalding hot?
How can a morning this mild be so raw?
Why are entire years strewn
On the cutting room floor of memory
When single frames from one magic night
Forever flicker in close-up
On the 3D Imax of my mind
That's poetic
That's pathetic
Why did Mimi knock on Roger's door
And Collins choose that phone booth
Back where Angel set up his drums
Why did Maureen's equipment break down
Why am I the witness
And when I capture it on film
Will it mean that it's the end
And I'm alone

Top

GOODBYE LOVE

(The principals emerge from the church.)

MIMI (to ROGER)
It's true you sold your guitar and bought a car?

ROGER
It's true -- I'm leaving now for Santa Fe
It's true you're with this yuppie scum?

BENNY
You said you'd never speak to him again

MIMI
Not now

MAUREEN
Who said that you have any say
In who she says things to at all?

ROGER
Yeah!

JOANNE
Who said that you should
Stick your nose in other people's ...

MAUREEN
Who said I was talking to you?

JOANNE
We used to have this fight each night

MARK
Calm down

JOANNE
She'd never admit I existed

MARK
Everyone please

MIMI
He was the same way -- he was always
"Run away -- hit the road
Don't commit" -- you're full of shit

JOANNE
She's in denial

MIMI
He's in denial

JOANNE
Didn't give an inch
When I gave a mile

MARK
Come on

MIMI
I gave a mile

ROGER
Gave a mile to who?

MARK & BENNY
Come on guys chill!

MIMI & JOANNE
I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had
Someone to live for -- unafraid to say I love you

ROGER
All your words are nice Mimi
But love's not a three way street
You'll never share real love
Until you love yourself -- I should know

COLLINS
You all said you'd be cool today
So please -- for my sake...
I can't believe he's gone
(to ROGER) I can't believe you're going
I can't believe this family must die
Angel helped us believe in love
I can't believe you disagree

ALL
I can't believe this is goodbye

(MAUREEN and JOANNE look at each other.)

MAUREEN
Pookie

JOANNE
Honeybear

MAUREEN
I missed you so much.

JOANNE
I missed you.
MAUREEN
I missed your smell.

JOANNE
I missed your mouth.
Your --

(JOANNE gives MAUREEN a firm kiss on the lips.)

MAUREEN
Ow!

JOANNE
What?

MAUREEN
Nothing, Pookie.

JOANNE
No, baby -- you said ow -- What?

MAUREEN
You bit my tongue.

JOANNE
No, I didn't.

MAUREEN
You did -- I'm bleeding.

JOANNE
No, it isn't.

MAUREEN
I think I should know...

JOANNE
Let me see --

MAUREEN
She doesn't believe me!

JOANNE
I was only trying to...

(They hug & exit. The PASTOR from the church emerges on the above.)

PASTOR
Thomas B. Collins?

COLLINS
Coming.

(The PASTOR exits above and COLLINS exits into the church. BENNY stands off to the side as MIMI approaches ROGER, who turns away. She hesitates before leaving with BENNY.)

MARK
I hear there are great restaurants out west

ROGER
Some of the best. How could she?

MARK
How could you let her go?

ROGER
You just don't know... How could we lose Angel?

MARK
Maybe you'll see why when you stop escaping your pain
At least now if you try -- Angel's death won't be in vain

ROGER
His death is in vain

(MIMI reappears up left, in the shadows. She overhears ROGER and MARK's conversation.)

MARK
Are you insane?
There so much to care about
There's me -- there's Mimi

ROGER
Mimi's got her baggage, too

MARK
So do you

ROGER
Who are you to tell me what I know, what to do

MARK
A friend

ROGER
But who, Mark, are you?
"Mark has got his work"
They say "Mark lives for his work"
And "Mark's in love with his work"
Mark hides in his work

MARK
From what?

ROGER
From facing your failure, facing your loneliness
Facing the fact you live a lie
Yes, you live a lie -- tell you why
You're always preaching not to be numb
When that's how you thrive
You pretend to create and observe
When you really detach from feeling alive

MARK
Perhaps it's because I'm the one of us to survive

ROGER
Poor baby

MARK
Mimi still loves Roger
Is Roger really jealous
Or afraid that Mimi's weak

ROGER
Mimi did look pale

MARK
Mimi's gotten thin
Mimi's running out of time
Roger's running out the door

ROGER
No more! Oh no!
I've gotta go

MARK
Hey, for somebody who's always been let down
Who's heading out of town?

ROGER
For someone who longs for a community of his own,
Who's with his camera, alone?

(ROGER takes a step to go, then stops, turns.)

I'll call
I hate the fall

(ROGER turns to go and sees MIMI.)

ROGER
You heard?

MIMI
Every word
You don't want baggage without lifetime guarantees
You don't want to watch me die
I just came to say
Goodbye, love
Goodbye, love
Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye

MIMI
Just came to say
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
goodbye

ROGER
Glory
One blaze of
Glory
Have to find

(ROGER exits. BENNY returns. MIMI steps away.)

MIMI
Please don't touch me
Understand
I'm scared
I need to go away

MARK
I know a place -- a clinic

BENNY
A rehab?

MIMI
Maybe -- could you?

BENNY
I'll pay

MIMI
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye
Just came to say
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Goodbye love
Hello -- disease

(MIMI runs away. After a moment, COLLINS quicjkly enters, with the PASTOR trailing behind him.)

PASTOR
Off the premises now
We don't give handouts here!

MARK
What happened to "Rest In Peace"?

PASTOR
Off the premises, queer!

COLLINS
That's no way to send a boy to meet his maker!
They had to know we couldn't pay the undertaker.

BENNY
Don't you worry 'bout him. Hey, I'll take care of it!

(The PASTOR acknowledges BENNY and exits.)

MARK
Must be nice to have money.

ALL THREE
No shit!

COLLINS
I think it's only fair to tell you, you just paid for the funeral of the person who killed your dog.

BENNY
I know. I always hated that dog.
Let's pay him off, and then get drunk.

MARK
I can't, I have a meeting.

BENNY & COLLINS
Punk! Let's go.

(COLLINS and BENNY exit.)

WHAT YOU OWN

MARK (imagining)
"Hi. Mark Cohen here for Buzzline. Back to you, Alexi. Coming up next -- vampire welfare queens who are compulsive bowlers." Oh my God, what am I doing?

Don't breathe too deep
Don't think all day
Dive into work
Drive the other way
That drip of hurt
That pint of shame
Goes away
Just play the game
You're living in America
At the end of the millennium
You're living in America
Leave your conscience at the tone
And when you're living in America
At the end of the millennium
You're what you own

(Lights up on ROGER.)

ROGER
The filmmaker cannot see

MARK
And the songwriter cannot hear

ROGER
Yet I see Mimi everywhere

MARK
Angel's voice is in my ear

ROGER
Just tighten those shoulders

MARK
Just clench your jaw till you frown

ROGER
Just don't let go

BOTH
Or you may drown

You're living in America
At the end of the millennium
You're living in America
Where it's like the Twilight Zone
And when you're living in America
At the end of the millennium
You're what you own
So I own not a notion
I escape and ape content
I don't own emotion -- I rent

MARK
What was it about that night

ROGER
What was it about that night

BOTH
Connection -- in an isolating age

MARK
For once the shadows gave way to light

ROGER
For once the shadows gave way to light

BOTH
For once I didn't disengage

(MARK goes to the pay phone and dials.)

MARK
Angel -- I hear you -- I hear it
I see it -- I see it
My film!

ROGER
Mimi I see you -- I see it
I hear it -- I hear it
My song!

MARK (on the phone)
Alexi--Mark
Call me a hypocrite
I need to finish my own film
I quit!

ROGER
One song--glory
Mimi
Your eyes...

BOTH
Dying in America
At the end of the millennium
We're dying in America
To come into our own
And when you're dying in America
At the end of the millennium
You're not alone
I'm not alone
I'm not alone

(Blackout.)

VOICE MAIL #5

(In blackout, once again the phone rings.)

ROGER & MARK'S ANSWERING MACHINE
"Speak..." (Beeep!)

ROGER'S MOTHER
Roger, this is your mother
Roger, honey, I don't get these postcards
"Moving to Santa Fe"
"Back in New York
Starting a rock band"
Roger, where are you? -- Please call

(The following is sung simultaneously)

MIMI'S MOTHER
Mimi, chica, donde estas?
Tu mama esta llamando
Donde estas Mimi -- Call

MR. JEFFERSON
Kitten -- wherever are you -- Call

MRS. COHEN
Mark -- are you there -- are you there
I don't know if he's there
We're all here wishing you were here too
Where are you Mark are you there are you where are you
Mark -- are you there -- are you there
I don't know if -- Please call your mother

FINALE

ALL SEVEN HOMELESS
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
Christmas bells are ringing
How time flies
When compassion dies
No stockings
No candy canes
No gingerbread
No safety net
No loose change
No change no

ONE HOMELESS MAN
Santy Claus is coming

ALL
Cause Santy Claus ain't coming
No room at the Holiday Inn -- again
Well, maybe next year
Or -- when

(Lights shift back to the loft. A small projector rests on a milk crate, which is on a dolly.)

MARK
December 24th, ten p.m. Eastern standard time
I can't believe a year went by so fast
Time to see what we have time to see
Turn the projector on

(A rough title credit, "Today 4 U: Proof Positive," appears, followed by a shot from last Christmas of ROGER tuning his guitar.)

MARK
First shot Roger
With the fender guitar he just got out of hock
When he sold the car
That took him away and back

ROGER
I found my song

MARK
He found his song
If he could just find Mimi

ROGER
I tried -- you know I tried

(MARK's image appears on-screen.)

MARK
Fade in on Mark
Who's still in the dark

ROGER
But he's got great footage

MARK
Which he's cut together

ROGER
To screen tonight

(BENNY's image appears on screen.)

MARK
In honor of Benny's wife

ROGER
Muffy

MARK
Alison
Pulling Benny out of the East Village location

(The projector blows a fuse. Blackout.)

ROGER
Then again, maybe we won't screen it tonight.

MARK
I wonder how Alison found out about Mimi?

ROGER
Maybe a little bird told her.

(COLLINS enters in the dark, with several twenty-dollar bills in each hand.)

COLLINS
Or an angel.
(Lights fade up.)
I had a little hunch that you could use a little flow

ROGER
Tutoring again?

COLLINS
Negative

MARK
Back at N.Y.U.?

COLLINS
No, no, no
I rewired the ATM at the food emporium
To provide an honorarium to anyone with the code

ROGER & MARK
The code --
Well...?

COLLINS
A-N-G-E-L
Yet Robin Hooding isn't the solution
The powers that be must be undermined where they dwell
In a small, exclusive gourmet institution
Where we overcharge the wealthy clientele

ALL THREE
Let's open up a restaurant in Santa Fe
With a private corner banquette in the back

COLLINS
We'll make it yet, we'll somehow get to Santa Fe

ROGER
But you'd miss New York before you could unpack

ALL
Ohh --

(MAUREEN and JOANNE enter, carrying MIMI.)

MAUREEN
Mark! Roger! Anyone -- help!

MARK
Maureen?

MAUREEN
It's Mimi -- I can't get her up the stairs

ROGER
No!

(They enter the loft.)

MAUREEN
She was huddled in the park in the dark
And she was freezing
And begged to come here

ROGER
Over here
Oh, God --

(They lay her down carefully on the table.)

MIMI
Got a light -- I know you -- you're shivering...

JOANNE
She's been living on the street

ROGER
We need some heat

MIMI
I'm shivering

MARK
We can buy some wood and something to eat

COLLINS
I'm afraid she needs more than heat

MIMI
I heard that

MAUREEN
Collins will call for a doctor, honey

MIMI
Don't waste your money on Mimi, me, me

COLLINS
Hello -- 911?
I'm on hold!

MIMI
Cold...cold... would you light my candle?

ROGER
Yes -- we'll -- oh God -- find a candle

MIMI
I should tell you
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you
I should tell you

MIMI
I should tell you
Benny wasn't any --

ROGER
Shhh -- I know
I should tell you why I left
It wasn't cause I didn't --

MIMI
I know
I should tell you

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI (whispering)
I should tell you
I love you --

(MIMI fades)

ROGER
Who do you think you are?
Leaving me alone with my guitar
Hold on there's something you should hear
It isn't much but it took all year

(MIMI stirs and ROGER begins playing acoustic guitar at her bedside.)

YOUR EYES

ROGER
Your eyes
As we said our goodbyes
Can't get them out of my mind
And I find I can't hide
From your eyes
The ones that took me by surprise
The night you came into my life
Where there's moonlight I see your eyes
(Band takes over)
How'd I let you slip away
When I'm longing so to hold you
Now I'd die for one more day
'Cause there's something I should have told you
Yes there's something I should have told you
When I looked into your eyes
Why does distance make us wise?
You were the song all along
And before this song dies
I should tell you I should tell you
I have always loved you
You can see it in my eyes

(We hear Musetta's Theme, played correctly and passionately. MIMI's head falls to the side and her arm drops limply off the edge of the table.)

Mimi!

FINALE B

(Suddenly, MIMI's hand twitches. Incredibly, she is still alive.)

MIMI
I jumped over the moon!

ROGER
What?

MIMI
A leap of mooooooooooooo --

JOANNE
She's back!

MIMI
I was in a tunnel. Heading for this warm, white light...

MAUREEN
Oh my God!

MIMI
And I swear Angel was there -- and she looked GOOD! And she said, "Turn around, girlfriend, and listen to that boy's song..."

COLLINS
She's drenched

MAUREEN
Her fever's breaking

MARK
There is no future -- there is no past

ROGER
Thank God this moment's not the last

MIMI & ROGER
There's only us
There's only this
Forget regret or life is yours to miss

ALL
No other road no other way
No day but today

(As the finale grows, the entire COMPANY makes its way on stage.)

WOMEN
I can't control
My destiny
I trust my soul
My only goal is just to be

MEN
Will I lose my dignity?
Will someone care?
Will I wake tomorrow
From this nightmare?

(MARK's film resumes, along with two more films projecting on the back wall, "Scenes from RENT...")

WOMEN
Without you
The hand gropes
The ear hears
The pulse beats
Life goes on
But I'm gone
'Cause I die
Without you
I die without you
I die without you
I die without you

MEN
There's only now
There's only here
Give in to love
Or live in fear
No other path
No other way
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today
No day but today

ALL
No day but today

THE END


				*GEYSA'S MUSICAL PAGE* *RENT- Libretto*



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